I've been reading you for many years, across your various sites, and have always enjoyed your honest voice and beautiful writing. Thank you for continuing to share and for expressing so well a challenge (introversion vs. expression) that I also wrestle with.
I have followed your writing and photography for years, so I’m not gonna lie, I thought this was gonna be about the bunkbed drama of the early aughts! lolz Was it bunkbeds? Can’t even remember.👵🏾
Ha, it was about the bunkbeds–which we still have by the way! But the funny thing is, I think if that was posted on social right now, nobody would bat an eyelash. That kind of venting is so normal these days?? Also, thank you for the paid subscription, Dee!! 💕🥹
I can't even remember how I found your blog, probably the whimsy and spice years. I do remember resonating with your budgeting, which we did also, and I don't remember other people speaking honestly about that topic. It may have been in the early years of my motherhood. I spent a lot of time trying to breastfeed and surf the internet at the same time. I haven't tried Bluesky yet. Not sure I need another time suck, I'm about to finish grad school and need to focus. I'll see how it all shakes out. I appreciate your newsletters!
I love talking about budgeting! And keep your focus on grad studies (which is amazing, btw). You don't need another social app. I literally made an account to keep up with news, but then this happened. I should have just stayed a lurker lol.
"Why attract attention on the internet when attention is the last thing I want in real life?" I think, for me at least, there are competing pulls. I want attention, but I also don't. Writing allows enough separation for that attention to be more tolerable, and a bit more in my control... great piece :)
I'm glad that our paths crossed here and thanks for the unintended uptick in my subscribers from your recommendation over the past couple of weeks, lol!
I write for a very small audience, less than 100... and even then I still question if I should shift my writing every time I'm notified that someone has subscribed. I second guess what I write, the subject matter, if I should write more poetry and less personal essays. Thank you for sharing your journey! It takes a lot out of you when you go viral 🩵
Among the many reasons to write (as you detailed so well here) and to keep writing is that doing so provides a record for yourself. If you've been doing this for 25 years (and I hear you on the coding your own pages in html in the early days), you can look back and not only see what you were experiencing, but who you were as compared to who you are now. There is no better way to see the core of self than to see the threads of the tapestry of self that continue to be woven throughout your thoughts over decades of writing.
It's a record of "me-ness" and the readers value is in providing a different perspective of yourself and life for you to consider. Your friend who thought you were getting too drunk on your blog success doesn't understand that it is not about validation. It's about reflection and seeing what other people see which you don't or can't through the feedback they provide. The more followers you have, the more you see the world through different eyes. That is where the long-term value comes from.
Thank you for this. As you can tell, that conversation stayed with me a long time and I appreciate this reinterpretation. Some days, all of this feels so narcissistic, to write so much about oneself to strangers. However, I know that this is some of my favorite kinds of essays to read, so this quiets my discomfort.
“I am just one in a billion voices, a nobody, a human. I have no idea why anyone follows me or listens to what I have to say.”
It’s not the same because our “relationship” is parasocial … but I read something today from someone I now can’t find in the vast sea of humanity, but it went something like …
“to the world, you are a person among billions, but to the people who love you, you are their whole world”
And that’s kinda how I feel when I come across a writer who has no reason to connect other than they are going through the same emotions, feelings, life experiences. Maybe our lives will diverge eventually, but for now, your words intertwine with where I am today. I hope that doesn’t sound too terribly forward; I’m just exploring why some writers connect and some are just flat words on the page and connecting feeling with words. I’m also in a bit of a creative lull and don’t know why… 🙂 Reading my favorites helps tamp down the anxiety I’m feeling about maybe having nothing left to say…
Gérard, I appreciate you. 🫶. Lives diverging eventually got to me because this is true and just part of life. My memory fails me sometimes at really odd and mundane things, but I still remember our first exchange on threads, something about a bag of chips and shrinkflation lol. As far as being in a creative lull, yeah...I feel that too. Writing weekly is something I have to push through, drawing is sort of non existent. Everything is kind of a struggle. Hang in there.
Sometimes we can't see ourselves and need others to mirror certain aspects of ourselves. He was definitely going through something himself at the time (seems like this is always the case), however, I do appreciate how this conversation pops into my head like a gut check as I've described. This was maybe 15 years ago and in the early days of social media before we really understood the effects the likes, etc. in social posts and how that can sometimes regulate our emotions. We all understand how that can work now, so yes...I think there was some truth to it.
I always feel a little like we’ve just had a nice coffee when I read your post. I don’t know why I like it so much either 😂 but I do know I always feel a little excited when I see your post is up. I think I just like your way of talking — it’s honest and friendly in a world where everything is always trying to yank my emotions around. Feels like solid ground.
This is probably one of the more comforting feedback about my writing that I can read. Thank you. A nice coffee with a friend is really the only way I can write, I think, and it makes knowing how many emails are landing in inboxes bearable. Most people talk about wanting growth, subscribers, and I do sometimes wonder how writing changes when an audience grows. I guess that's why I keep thinking about the question, who are you writing for?
I believe that would be how I feel if I ever went viral (unintentional since I never try). Back in my blogging days, I would just write whatever came to mind, with some effort to articulate and perhaps entertain or evoke emotions. These days, though, I approach writing with a different mindset: What am I trying to communicate? Why? And how? Needless to say, this shift has made writing harder, but I enjoy it as a way to sharpen my skills. :)
I've been reading you for many years, across your various sites, and have always enjoyed your honest voice and beautiful writing. Thank you for continuing to share and for expressing so well a challenge (introversion vs. expression) that I also wrestle with.
Abby, thank you. Appreciate the comment.
Same. And I struggle with that paradox too.
I have followed your writing and photography for years, so I’m not gonna lie, I thought this was gonna be about the bunkbed drama of the early aughts! lolz Was it bunkbeds? Can’t even remember.👵🏾
Ha, it was about the bunkbeds–which we still have by the way! But the funny thing is, I think if that was posted on social right now, nobody would bat an eyelash. That kind of venting is so normal these days?? Also, thank you for the paid subscription, Dee!! 💕🥹
Wow. That one comment is EVERYTHING !!! Thank you for continuing to write!!
I know!! 😭
I can't even remember how I found your blog, probably the whimsy and spice years. I do remember resonating with your budgeting, which we did also, and I don't remember other people speaking honestly about that topic. It may have been in the early years of my motherhood. I spent a lot of time trying to breastfeed and surf the internet at the same time. I haven't tried Bluesky yet. Not sure I need another time suck, I'm about to finish grad school and need to focus. I'll see how it all shakes out. I appreciate your newsletters!
I love talking about budgeting! And keep your focus on grad studies (which is amazing, btw). You don't need another social app. I literally made an account to keep up with news, but then this happened. I should have just stayed a lurker lol.
"Why attract attention on the internet when attention is the last thing I want in real life?" I think, for me at least, there are competing pulls. I want attention, but I also don't. Writing allows enough separation for that attention to be more tolerable, and a bit more in my control... great piece :)
Hmmm...I like that! Separation for the attention to be more tolerable.
I'm so lucky to have met you on Substack, Jenna! Your writing has inspired me to keep writing.
Yes, keep writing! Our stories are important.
Whatever you share I have enjoyed and found food for thought. Thank you!
Thank you, Dianne. For all your support throughout the years.
que bueno ! te leo hace más de 10 años !
I had to translate. 10 Years! Thank you Alejandra!
I'm glad that our paths crossed here and thanks for the unintended uptick in my subscribers from your recommendation over the past couple of weeks, lol!
Haha, I'm glad some of you benefited
I write for a very small audience, less than 100... and even then I still question if I should shift my writing every time I'm notified that someone has subscribed. I second guess what I write, the subject matter, if I should write more poetry and less personal essays. Thank you for sharing your journey! It takes a lot out of you when you go viral 🩵
Joscelyne, I'm not sure it matters if you have 100 or 10,000 subscribers. I think the second guessing would be the same! Keep writing!
Among the many reasons to write (as you detailed so well here) and to keep writing is that doing so provides a record for yourself. If you've been doing this for 25 years (and I hear you on the coding your own pages in html in the early days), you can look back and not only see what you were experiencing, but who you were as compared to who you are now. There is no better way to see the core of self than to see the threads of the tapestry of self that continue to be woven throughout your thoughts over decades of writing.
It's a record of "me-ness" and the readers value is in providing a different perspective of yourself and life for you to consider. Your friend who thought you were getting too drunk on your blog success doesn't understand that it is not about validation. It's about reflection and seeing what other people see which you don't or can't through the feedback they provide. The more followers you have, the more you see the world through different eyes. That is where the long-term value comes from.
Thank you for this. As you can tell, that conversation stayed with me a long time and I appreciate this reinterpretation. Some days, all of this feels so narcissistic, to write so much about oneself to strangers. However, I know that this is some of my favorite kinds of essays to read, so this quiets my discomfort.
“I am just one in a billion voices, a nobody, a human. I have no idea why anyone follows me or listens to what I have to say.”
It’s not the same because our “relationship” is parasocial … but I read something today from someone I now can’t find in the vast sea of humanity, but it went something like …
“to the world, you are a person among billions, but to the people who love you, you are their whole world”
And that’s kinda how I feel when I come across a writer who has no reason to connect other than they are going through the same emotions, feelings, life experiences. Maybe our lives will diverge eventually, but for now, your words intertwine with where I am today. I hope that doesn’t sound too terribly forward; I’m just exploring why some writers connect and some are just flat words on the page and connecting feeling with words. I’m also in a bit of a creative lull and don’t know why… 🙂 Reading my favorites helps tamp down the anxiety I’m feeling about maybe having nothing left to say…
Gérard, I appreciate you. 🫶. Lives diverging eventually got to me because this is true and just part of life. My memory fails me sometimes at really odd and mundane things, but I still remember our first exchange on threads, something about a bag of chips and shrinkflation lol. As far as being in a creative lull, yeah...I feel that too. Writing weekly is something I have to push through, drawing is sort of non existent. Everything is kind of a struggle. Hang in there.
Ha! Commenting on bags of chips sounds like what I’d be doing with my one and only life!! 😀😀😀
"He implied that maybe I was even addicted to the validation of strangers."
Just curious, is that friend of yours still your friend? and did you think there was any truth to what he was saying?
I find your thoughts so interesting on how having 10K followers made you feel isolated. Seems to point to the age-old adage of quality over quantity.
I agree — I doubt Jenna has ever been “drunk on her success” and that friend might have been having a moment 👀
Melissa, read my response above. He was definitely having a moment, but I appreciate these really weird and uncomfortable conversations.
an uncomfortable conversation is always a good one.
Sometimes we can't see ourselves and need others to mirror certain aspects of ourselves. He was definitely going through something himself at the time (seems like this is always the case), however, I do appreciate how this conversation pops into my head like a gut check as I've described. This was maybe 15 years ago and in the early days of social media before we really understood the effects the likes, etc. in social posts and how that can sometimes regulate our emotions. We all understand how that can work now, so yes...I think there was some truth to it.
Wanted to see what the context of that conversation was like, and it seems you have a healthy approach!
I always feel a little like we’ve just had a nice coffee when I read your post. I don’t know why I like it so much either 😂 but I do know I always feel a little excited when I see your post is up. I think I just like your way of talking — it’s honest and friendly in a world where everything is always trying to yank my emotions around. Feels like solid ground.
This is probably one of the more comforting feedback about my writing that I can read. Thank you. A nice coffee with a friend is really the only way I can write, I think, and it makes knowing how many emails are landing in inboxes bearable. Most people talk about wanting growth, subscribers, and I do sometimes wonder how writing changes when an audience grows. I guess that's why I keep thinking about the question, who are you writing for?
Also do you ever list to Duncan Trussels podcast? It’s kind of nuts but your note on awe makes me think you might like the topics he gets into
I don't! I don't listen to many podcasts actually. What topics does he get into?
A lot of metaphysical stuff — his most recent one talks a lot about the impact of social media and the need for awe. It's a lot! He's real weird. https://open.spotify.com/episode/41akVL1lMU2l1de35pCiiA?si=cd5f5936fa4848fd
I believe that would be how I feel if I ever went viral (unintentional since I never try). Back in my blogging days, I would just write whatever came to mind, with some effort to articulate and perhaps entertain or evoke emotions. These days, though, I approach writing with a different mindset: What am I trying to communicate? Why? And how? Needless to say, this shift has made writing harder, but I enjoy it as a way to sharpen my skills. :)
It's good when our writing evolves!