I love that movie Arrival - it's one of the few films that my husband (sci-fi nerd) and I (language nerd) can both agree is genius. As for the rest, I don't know what to say, other than hang in there, Jenna. It's all we can do.
I really want to see it again on a bigger screen than an airplane screen. It was beautiful and so evocative. And the ending with the message for all the nations - pretty interesting considering when the film was released.
Ha, I went to save the Miso Mushroom and Leek Pasta to my recipe box and it was already there :). Thank you for these reflections; having an international perspective is so important.
The Thread is priceless! Thank you for that. I was considering leaving because that platform was getting so hostile and chaotic. Blocked so many trolls lately!
I am so conflicted about leaving. It's the only Meta product I use now, but the community there still feels more cozy than Bluesky which is so charged politically. I haven't come across too many trolls yet. Plus, I'm also of the mind that if they chase us all out, it's another right-wing site and they've won? I don't know if that logic flies, but isn't this what they want? I dunno...
I dunno either! Yeah, Bluesky is still so clunky. And most of my followers there are beer bros for some reason? I feel like we've built this cute community on Threads, but I've used it less lately.
Beer bros hahaha. The site UI hurts my eyes. It's not super pleasant to use. I haven't made any meaningful connections yet so I don't know who anyone is. And yeah, Threads has def changed and some people are gone for sure, but it's still largely pleasant though I'm definitely on it less too.
this david lynch clip is the best!!! Maybe the best thing about being in Miami with all that artistic energy was the feeling of wandering through ideas all the time.
I was also out of the country on 9-11 (living in Japan for a few decades), but living there meant I had subscriptions to English-language papers in place and could listen to AFN on the radio for news at that time. Of course, nothing made it clearer to me that the world doesn't revolve around America than living in a place in which, when the globe was pictured, it centered on Japan's position rather than America's.
While you are correct that proving you belong here is part of the American experience, a big reason for that is that the potential to do so exists in the U.S. in a way that it does nowhere else. I was and always would be an outsider in Japan, as would you. The tug and pull of what it means to be "American" is the result of our cultural complexity. The experience is far more "binary" (for lack of a better word) in many other cultures. There is no debate. You either are or are not, and, in many cases, there is no integrating possible no matter how long you live there, no matter how culturally adept you are, and no matter how well you speak the langauge. You will never, ever really belong.
It is a very hard time to be an American right now if you are neither white nor male. I'm 60, and I'm not spending four years of my last precious ones on earth living in constant despair over the state of things. I'm focusing on my immediate life and what I can do with my time and for the people around me. Turning away from social media and the toxic discourse is incredibly important to mentally surviving right now. Unfortunately, that is my privilege as a white woman. It troubles me more than I can express that the road ahead is going to be diffcult for poor and brown-skinned people and there is literally nothing I can do about it besides vote, advocate, and make donations. I was doing that before, and we've landed where we are now. It is hard not to feel that it doesn't matter what I do.
Really appreciate this thoughtful comment. Perhaps you're right about belonging, because it is a pillar of American culture. Or, it was. It just feels very threatened and every immigrant understands because that has always been our experience, to prove that we belong. Just because it's possible doesn't mean it hasn't been a struggle. And I certainly understand what you mean about always being an outsider in Asia as an Asian American. It's what I experienced going back to Korea for the first time when I was 10, but then was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as much as I anticipated when I went back after a long absence two years ago. I was only there for 3 weeks and a tourist so I imagine that it's an entirely different experience. But this is the quintessential experience of non-white immigrants. Never really belonging anywhere.
It's very understandable to feel despair and feel like there is nothing we can do even though we have tried and still didn't keep him out. Take a rest and a pause. The only reason why I can't feel this way is because this is what they want. I can't give them the satisfaction of that.
Odd that we both reached back to 9/11 in our posts this week. When confronted with disasters, natural or manmade, 9/11 is still the baseline my brain goes back to.
Yeah. Maybe it's our age, maybe because it was truly the first huge tragedy in our adulthood. Maybe because it happened before social media. Everything after it changed.
Arrival was so good!! I wept basically throughout the last half. I loved it. I can only imagine how much I would cry watching it on a plane. A flight attendant once was like, "Are you ok" when I was crying at Strictly Ballroom and then she said, "That isn't even a sad movie." 😏
Arrival is one of my all-time favorite sci-fi films. I'll watch it whenever it comes on one of the streaming services. It's a beautiful looking film and does such a great job on issues of communication and understanding. I also like that not much is explained about the aliens, where they came from nor their exact motives.
On everything else, it's definitely a destabilizing time and I hear you on the politicalization of nearly everything. It's frustrating and exhausting, which is right where they want us: angry, fearful and feeling hopeless. My hope is that more people take community to heart and do something, whatever they can muster the energy for, to push back against the anti-American, anti-human tyranny that we're facing, uplift and protect our families, friends, neighbors, strangers and actively make room for hope.
I can't believe I'd never heard of it before. I need a rewatch on a bigger screen. And yes, not much about the aliens because they are almost secondary to the plot? Just a beautiful film.
Tim, I'm sitting here on my bed, one illness after the other this month trying not to feel scared, but I'm scared. I'm sure my current health issues aren't helping. I'm hoping I get lifted out of this once I start feeling better.
Also, thank you for that Thread. I've been off of there too and I truly guffawed at that and all the comments. Wtf our bodies are so nuts.
Re: Threads, I did watch a live video (on Substack!) with Shannon Watts and Emily in your phone (forgot her name but that's her handle and she was great) and Emily had the same take on leaving the meta apps, that they'll "win" if we all leave. I've been off since Monday to avoid that thing that went on that day (sigh) and I don't miss it! I can't imagine leaving Instagram for good, but I'm really liking the feed here on Substack as an alternative. I never quite got a lot out of Threads or BlueSky either, but here I feel like I've found more of my people. I don't yet have the ones talking about falling labia, expect Catherine Newman, but hopefully it will come as I spend more time here.
yeah I guess that's why I stay, for nuggets like that. If you're truly not benefiting from it, no need to stay. Weirdly it was easier for me to leave IG. Like it felt like it had so much baggage like FB? Anyway, I'm expecting Notes at some point to devolve. They keep pushing video and want to lure influencers and TikTok creators :/
Living in Italy and traveling through Europe and Central and South America, I relate with what you say. You can only know a person until you live with them and this goes with a country as well. But you only get the full picture of a country when you step outside of it. Yes there is much rightful criticism of the US. Unfortunately, there is also much taking of the bad parts too. I also agree that community is key. Local particularly. Can we get off our phones and connect with the people around us? It is so important. Thank you for sharing.
We deserve all the backlash. I wouldn't blame anyone not vacationing in the US right now. It's quite depressing. All I can think of right now is making my world a little smaller and focusing on community.
We just showed our 13yo Arrival, because it aligns with his interests, but also because when we first watched it (when he was... oh gosh, 4 or 5?), I thought: I want to show my child this one day. It's such a beautiful piece of art.
Also, I feel obligated to check in a bit from LA -- specifically a neighborhood that was not directly affected, but could have been. There's been such a dissonance between how nice it continues to look out my window and how destructive I know it is about 10-15 miles away.
Nothing is good about the fires; however, there has been so much good that has come out of the response, at least locally. Everyone I know who is unaffected like we are has been pouring out donations and volunteer efforts -- I went to a volunteer location today, ~two weeks after the fires started, and there was a huge operation of volunteers helping victims obtain donations. Of course, there are also a huge number of victims -- the energy that everyone had at the start will need to be sustained. But I feel like in the wake of the reality that the U.S. is, as you say, not a government to be admired any longer, I'm seeing more and more citizens realize that if we only have each other, we need to really take care of each other.
Obviously, we deserve a functioning government that protects all of us, including the most vulnerable. But in lieu of that, I keep seeing evidence in LA (and I'm sure throughout the rest of the country) that there are people who will step in to fill some of those gaps.
Abby, good to see an update from you. And yes, this is what I'm talking about. I was super involved when Hurricane Sandy hit NYC. Pandemic was a different animal, but if something were to happen here again, I would like to think that we'd see the same level of effort in helping our communities.
Please be careful of the air quality! My cousin's house is still standing, but so close to the fire and she still can't return home. Thinking of you all.
It was sunny half the time, but the sun goes down at 4ish so not much. It was really really cold, and the week we were there was the coldest in January. But the tradeoff of having no crowds anywhere made it palatable. I'm not sure I could have dealt with the crowds.
Phenomenal truth. So many awesome realities here but one separate and apart, thematically for me points to travel and its benefits. As first generation American born in the United States, my parents made sure we travelled a lot when I was growing up. A lot. I learned more about life and people from this.
Also, my mom’s family is Spanish-speaking and in Spanish United States is translated as “Los estados unidos”. In the last several years, they have taken to calling this country “los estados DESunidos.” It’s a tongue in cheek way of pointing out the lack of unity (the prefix “des” changes the word meaning to UNunited. Funny, yet sad.
I love your last line though. That’s how we will get through this. Thank you for sharing this.
I didn't travel at all growing up - we just didn't have the money and/or just not a thing that many Korean Americans did. Vacations weren't a thing, culturally, back when I was a kid. My spouse travelled more and lived abroad for two years. I'm really happy that I was able to travel overseas with my kids twice - and my older kid did a summer abroad in Korea last year and also went to Japan. I think it's important and yes, you learn a lot about life and the world. I just wish more people could afford to do it. I'm encouraged when I see opportunities for kids to do a semester abroad that are paid for by some private colleges. It's such good life experience!
We were not swimming in money either, but it's just what they saved up for each year and often, it was to go stay with family in other places. For example, we visited my mom's family in Colombia every summer and stayed a while. I think being where we are geographically makes it expensive. If we lived in Europe or Southeast Asia or South America, it's easier to get from place to place. For now, I agree there should be more opportunities for youth to go abroad.
Jenna as always I find your writing so insightful, tender and poignant. I am in India with Rie and each day I spend some time with all that is happening back home. Many people here express enthusiasm for the new head of state. I am dismayed. The dissonance of being in this country with its much longer history, deep rituals and traditions that have held the test of time and the chaos and sadness at home is very present. Yet. Here we are. A mother and daughter trying to to take it all in, to learn something, to share something and return home with some new perspective and deepening commitment to how to be part of the change we wish to see. Learning along the way and never forgetting the trials so many are facing. Thank you for your writing and your perspective. Much love to all of you~
Hey Megan! It's interesting to hear that enthusiasm. Why? So far I'm just seeing so much criticism and boycotting from Canadians, Mexicans, and Europeans. What is the enthusiasm for?
I love that movie Arrival - it's one of the few films that my husband (sci-fi nerd) and I (language nerd) can both agree is genius. As for the rest, I don't know what to say, other than hang in there, Jenna. It's all we can do.
I really want to see it again on a bigger screen than an airplane screen. It was beautiful and so evocative. And the ending with the message for all the nations - pretty interesting considering when the film was released.
Ha, I went to save the Miso Mushroom and Leek Pasta to my recipe box and it was already there :). Thank you for these reflections; having an international perspective is so important.
You should try it, it's really good! My kid was gifted a Cooking subscription from Grandma and she found the recipe.
The Thread is priceless! Thank you for that. I was considering leaving because that platform was getting so hostile and chaotic. Blocked so many trolls lately!
I am so conflicted about leaving. It's the only Meta product I use now, but the community there still feels more cozy than Bluesky which is so charged politically. I haven't come across too many trolls yet. Plus, I'm also of the mind that if they chase us all out, it's another right-wing site and they've won? I don't know if that logic flies, but isn't this what they want? I dunno...
I dunno either! Yeah, Bluesky is still so clunky. And most of my followers there are beer bros for some reason? I feel like we've built this cute community on Threads, but I've used it less lately.
Beer bros hahaha. The site UI hurts my eyes. It's not super pleasant to use. I haven't made any meaningful connections yet so I don't know who anyone is. And yeah, Threads has def changed and some people are gone for sure, but it's still largely pleasant though I'm definitely on it less too.
this david lynch clip is the best!!! Maybe the best thing about being in Miami with all that artistic energy was the feeling of wandering through ideas all the time.
I love it. And we're having the same thread conversations on two different threads haha. You mean Miami for YoungArts?
lol yup!
I was also out of the country on 9-11 (living in Japan for a few decades), but living there meant I had subscriptions to English-language papers in place and could listen to AFN on the radio for news at that time. Of course, nothing made it clearer to me that the world doesn't revolve around America than living in a place in which, when the globe was pictured, it centered on Japan's position rather than America's.
While you are correct that proving you belong here is part of the American experience, a big reason for that is that the potential to do so exists in the U.S. in a way that it does nowhere else. I was and always would be an outsider in Japan, as would you. The tug and pull of what it means to be "American" is the result of our cultural complexity. The experience is far more "binary" (for lack of a better word) in many other cultures. There is no debate. You either are or are not, and, in many cases, there is no integrating possible no matter how long you live there, no matter how culturally adept you are, and no matter how well you speak the langauge. You will never, ever really belong.
It is a very hard time to be an American right now if you are neither white nor male. I'm 60, and I'm not spending four years of my last precious ones on earth living in constant despair over the state of things. I'm focusing on my immediate life and what I can do with my time and for the people around me. Turning away from social media and the toxic discourse is incredibly important to mentally surviving right now. Unfortunately, that is my privilege as a white woman. It troubles me more than I can express that the road ahead is going to be diffcult for poor and brown-skinned people and there is literally nothing I can do about it besides vote, advocate, and make donations. I was doing that before, and we've landed where we are now. It is hard not to feel that it doesn't matter what I do.
Really appreciate this thoughtful comment. Perhaps you're right about belonging, because it is a pillar of American culture. Or, it was. It just feels very threatened and every immigrant understands because that has always been our experience, to prove that we belong. Just because it's possible doesn't mean it hasn't been a struggle. And I certainly understand what you mean about always being an outsider in Asia as an Asian American. It's what I experienced going back to Korea for the first time when I was 10, but then was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't as much as I anticipated when I went back after a long absence two years ago. I was only there for 3 weeks and a tourist so I imagine that it's an entirely different experience. But this is the quintessential experience of non-white immigrants. Never really belonging anywhere.
It's very understandable to feel despair and feel like there is nothing we can do even though we have tried and still didn't keep him out. Take a rest and a pause. The only reason why I can't feel this way is because this is what they want. I can't give them the satisfaction of that.
Odd that we both reached back to 9/11 in our posts this week. When confronted with disasters, natural or manmade, 9/11 is still the baseline my brain goes back to.
Yeah. Maybe it's our age, maybe because it was truly the first huge tragedy in our adulthood. Maybe because it happened before social media. Everything after it changed.
Yes. And here we are today. Sigh. 💗
Arrival was so good!! I wept basically throughout the last half. I loved it. I can only imagine how much I would cry watching it on a plane. A flight attendant once was like, "Are you ok" when I was crying at Strictly Ballroom and then she said, "That isn't even a sad movie." 😏
How did I not know about this film!? I want to watch it again on a bigger screen. Oh and I can totally relate to crying at Strictly Ballroom!
Arrival is one of my all-time favorite sci-fi films. I'll watch it whenever it comes on one of the streaming services. It's a beautiful looking film and does such a great job on issues of communication and understanding. I also like that not much is explained about the aliens, where they came from nor their exact motives.
On everything else, it's definitely a destabilizing time and I hear you on the politicalization of nearly everything. It's frustrating and exhausting, which is right where they want us: angry, fearful and feeling hopeless. My hope is that more people take community to heart and do something, whatever they can muster the energy for, to push back against the anti-American, anti-human tyranny that we're facing, uplift and protect our families, friends, neighbors, strangers and actively make room for hope.
I can't believe I'd never heard of it before. I need a rewatch on a bigger screen. And yes, not much about the aliens because they are almost secondary to the plot? Just a beautiful film.
Tim, I'm sitting here on my bed, one illness after the other this month trying not to feel scared, but I'm scared. I'm sure my current health issues aren't helping. I'm hoping I get lifted out of this once I start feeling better.
I’m so sorry you’ve been ill. I hope things improve soon. Nothing wrong with being scared, it’s a scary time.
Also, thank you for that Thread. I've been off of there too and I truly guffawed at that and all the comments. Wtf our bodies are so nuts.
Re: Threads, I did watch a live video (on Substack!) with Shannon Watts and Emily in your phone (forgot her name but that's her handle and she was great) and Emily had the same take on leaving the meta apps, that they'll "win" if we all leave. I've been off since Monday to avoid that thing that went on that day (sigh) and I don't miss it! I can't imagine leaving Instagram for good, but I'm really liking the feed here on Substack as an alternative. I never quite got a lot out of Threads or BlueSky either, but here I feel like I've found more of my people. I don't yet have the ones talking about falling labia, expect Catherine Newman, but hopefully it will come as I spend more time here.
yeah I guess that's why I stay, for nuggets like that. If you're truly not benefiting from it, no need to stay. Weirdly it was easier for me to leave IG. Like it felt like it had so much baggage like FB? Anyway, I'm expecting Notes at some point to devolve. They keep pushing video and want to lure influencers and TikTok creators :/
Pfft
Living in Italy and traveling through Europe and Central and South America, I relate with what you say. You can only know a person until you live with them and this goes with a country as well. But you only get the full picture of a country when you step outside of it. Yes there is much rightful criticism of the US. Unfortunately, there is also much taking of the bad parts too. I also agree that community is key. Local particularly. Can we get off our phones and connect with the people around us? It is so important. Thank you for sharing.
We deserve all the backlash. I wouldn't blame anyone not vacationing in the US right now. It's quite depressing. All I can think of right now is making my world a little smaller and focusing on community.
I love this and I am with you. Faith that small drops matter.
We just showed our 13yo Arrival, because it aligns with his interests, but also because when we first watched it (when he was... oh gosh, 4 or 5?), I thought: I want to show my child this one day. It's such a beautiful piece of art.
Also, I feel obligated to check in a bit from LA -- specifically a neighborhood that was not directly affected, but could have been. There's been such a dissonance between how nice it continues to look out my window and how destructive I know it is about 10-15 miles away.
Nothing is good about the fires; however, there has been so much good that has come out of the response, at least locally. Everyone I know who is unaffected like we are has been pouring out donations and volunteer efforts -- I went to a volunteer location today, ~two weeks after the fires started, and there was a huge operation of volunteers helping victims obtain donations. Of course, there are also a huge number of victims -- the energy that everyone had at the start will need to be sustained. But I feel like in the wake of the reality that the U.S. is, as you say, not a government to be admired any longer, I'm seeing more and more citizens realize that if we only have each other, we need to really take care of each other.
Obviously, we deserve a functioning government that protects all of us, including the most vulnerable. But in lieu of that, I keep seeing evidence in LA (and I'm sure throughout the rest of the country) that there are people who will step in to fill some of those gaps.
Abby, good to see an update from you. And yes, this is what I'm talking about. I was super involved when Hurricane Sandy hit NYC. Pandemic was a different animal, but if something were to happen here again, I would like to think that we'd see the same level of effort in helping our communities.
Please be careful of the air quality! My cousin's house is still standing, but so close to the fire and she still can't return home. Thinking of you all.
Wow, we were both in London this winter, but at different times. It did not show us a blue sky though! You are lucky!
It was sunny half the time, but the sun goes down at 4ish so not much. It was really really cold, and the week we were there was the coldest in January. But the tradeoff of having no crowds anywhere made it palatable. I'm not sure I could have dealt with the crowds.
Phenomenal truth. So many awesome realities here but one separate and apart, thematically for me points to travel and its benefits. As first generation American born in the United States, my parents made sure we travelled a lot when I was growing up. A lot. I learned more about life and people from this.
Also, my mom’s family is Spanish-speaking and in Spanish United States is translated as “Los estados unidos”. In the last several years, they have taken to calling this country “los estados DESunidos.” It’s a tongue in cheek way of pointing out the lack of unity (the prefix “des” changes the word meaning to UNunited. Funny, yet sad.
I love your last line though. That’s how we will get through this. Thank you for sharing this.
I didn't travel at all growing up - we just didn't have the money and/or just not a thing that many Korean Americans did. Vacations weren't a thing, culturally, back when I was a kid. My spouse travelled more and lived abroad for two years. I'm really happy that I was able to travel overseas with my kids twice - and my older kid did a summer abroad in Korea last year and also went to Japan. I think it's important and yes, you learn a lot about life and the world. I just wish more people could afford to do it. I'm encouraged when I see opportunities for kids to do a semester abroad that are paid for by some private colleges. It's such good life experience!
We were not swimming in money either, but it's just what they saved up for each year and often, it was to go stay with family in other places. For example, we visited my mom's family in Colombia every summer and stayed a while. I think being where we are geographically makes it expensive. If we lived in Europe or Southeast Asia or South America, it's easier to get from place to place. For now, I agree there should be more opportunities for youth to go abroad.
It's what I try to do. Prioritize travel over other things, though I wish we could travel even more while I'm still healthy enough to do so.
Jenna as always I find your writing so insightful, tender and poignant. I am in India with Rie and each day I spend some time with all that is happening back home. Many people here express enthusiasm for the new head of state. I am dismayed. The dissonance of being in this country with its much longer history, deep rituals and traditions that have held the test of time and the chaos and sadness at home is very present. Yet. Here we are. A mother and daughter trying to to take it all in, to learn something, to share something and return home with some new perspective and deepening commitment to how to be part of the change we wish to see. Learning along the way and never forgetting the trials so many are facing. Thank you for your writing and your perspective. Much love to all of you~
Hey Megan! It's interesting to hear that enthusiasm. Why? So far I'm just seeing so much criticism and boycotting from Canadians, Mexicans, and Europeans. What is the enthusiasm for?
Brilliant thoughts; I'm so happy to have stumbled back to your work, Jenna.
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a comment here, Sarah 💕 Much appreciated!
I loved arrival too, and then I went on to read the rest of the stories from Ted Chiang. They are good!
And yes hang in there. We can still connect in a seemingly divided world. Let's start with those around us, physically or virtually!
Oh, I really want to read the original short story by Ted Chiang. Thanks for the reminder!