Oh Jenna, this is all so very touching. I wish I was there to give you hugs and be a crying partner. I can honestly say that the empty nest (for me) has never filled up but it isn’t usually aching nor raw. Small mercies. The closest full nest was actually when Mark recently made a solo trip to visit us here. He, Lara and I took a day trip to Bainbridge Island and I spent much of he day consciously soaking in the 3-ness of yore. It was worth it having just those few days. The nest is still feeling the warmth.
So many hugs Jenna— so much of what you wrote here was reflected in our lives as children of Korean immigrants. The conversation you wrote of with your father is one that I’ve seen in my own kakao chats. Cheering you on as you continue your daily battles with Duolingo and finding peace in the righteous claiming of your culture and history.
I felt this so much, especially the part about not being ___ enough and at the same time not being American enough. My parents speak Mandarin, Tagalog, and a dialect of Chinese that is only spoken in a small part of Asia. I grew up not speaking any of these languages fluently, yet languishing in disappointment when I tried to. Then being teased for pronouncing things incorrectly. My grandmother recently passed from a stroke + dementia and we were never able to communicate effectively, enough for me to learn about her and her past. Everything I know is through secondhand stories from my mom and her siblings. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. With my own biracial kid, he is even further removed from my mother languages, and I can feel that part of me slipping away. This makes me want to try to do the learning together so we can have each other to practice with. Without the judgement or embarrassment.
It’s so tough to learn/master a new language. Out of our huge group of friends, we only have one that manage to get their kids to speak fluent mandarin. Most of the kids are resistant to speak/learn mandarin unless it’s during their weekly mandarin class.
Oh Jenna, this is all so very touching. I wish I was there to give you hugs and be a crying partner. I can honestly say that the empty nest (for me) has never filled up but it isn’t usually aching nor raw. Small mercies. The closest full nest was actually when Mark recently made a solo trip to visit us here. He, Lara and I took a day trip to Bainbridge Island and I spent much of he day consciously soaking in the 3-ness of yore. It was worth it having just those few days. The nest is still feeling the warmth.
So many hugs Jenna— so much of what you wrote here was reflected in our lives as children of Korean immigrants. The conversation you wrote of with your father is one that I’ve seen in my own kakao chats. Cheering you on as you continue your daily battles with Duolingo and finding peace in the righteous claiming of your culture and history.
I felt this so much, especially the part about not being ___ enough and at the same time not being American enough. My parents speak Mandarin, Tagalog, and a dialect of Chinese that is only spoken in a small part of Asia. I grew up not speaking any of these languages fluently, yet languishing in disappointment when I tried to. Then being teased for pronouncing things incorrectly. My grandmother recently passed from a stroke + dementia and we were never able to communicate effectively, enough for me to learn about her and her past. Everything I know is through secondhand stories from my mom and her siblings. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. With my own biracial kid, he is even further removed from my mother languages, and I can feel that part of me slipping away. This makes me want to try to do the learning together so we can have each other to practice with. Without the judgement or embarrassment.
It’s so tough to learn/master a new language. Out of our huge group of friends, we only have one that manage to get their kids to speak fluent mandarin. Most of the kids are resistant to speak/learn mandarin unless it’s during their weekly mandarin class.