Thank you Abigail! Like everything, there has to be a balance (and reading the room!). I often think too that I need to just savor the moment, but after recent life experiences, I realized that I'm still doing that, just with a camera on hand :)
Powerful to read your testimony about why you do it and it makes so much sense. I think that can inspire others in a big way. When we realize how precious these memories are it magnifies. Future generations will be able to know you so well.
What an unbelievably moving newsletter, thank you, Jenna. As always, I am in awe of your beautiful video editing, and seeing that video was moving in a whole different way. Reading this touched something deep in me, both a tenderness and a fear. I’ve never been afraid of aging, but it’s sobering to think about now that I accumulate dents and losses and am experiencing my kids’ departures and my parents’ (in one way and another). I feel more vulnerable than I ever have before. That’s not a bad thing, but it is a tender thing. I am wishing you well as you I am wishing you well as you all make it through those college apps and appreciate sharing this journey with you.
Asha, thank you. Aging really scares me. I'm guessing partly because of my dad's illness. I feel like I saw the most inhumane possibility of it. All the reason why this shift in direction, career and earning power be damned! And thank you. I appreciate meeting you this year.
Thanks for sharing with us your life and journey. Our memories for the next generation are important to document. I've been thinking about my grandmother as well. She died the day before I was to turn 20, Christmas Eve. 20 years of life in America, she never did get a chance to go back and visit her homeland. She told me many stories of the Japanese occupation and how her father stopped letting her go to school at 10 years old since she was female. Married at 15 or else the Japanese will capture you and more stories.
Hope you have good family time as you get through those college applications with C. Perhaps your mom can you fill in on some stories.
I'm not sure if my grandmother went back. Maybe once? But I'm not sure. She lived here 41 years. Many of them in older generations never looked back. It took my mom 25 years to go back the first time. There was nothing to go back to, and now, it's such a different country that it's unrecognizeable to them.
Happy holidays to you too! Hope 2024 brings new joys.
Jenna - always appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to share your life with us. My grandmother and great-grandfather had Alzheimer's. It concerns me as well and I have some of the same fears you do. Mostly I fear treating my family poorly if I am unable to remember them.
We went through the college applications a couple years ago. It was nerve-wracking but it worked out in the end. Now David is a sophomore and doing great. It is a transition phase for sure but wonderful to see our kids do well.
Have a great holiday season and enjoy your time away from the computer!
Matthew, thank you! About treating family poorly. Yes, this was one of the things that was so difficult. Aside from the physical aggression, the emotional one is almost harder, but you have to remember that it's because of the disease. To not take it personally takes great will. I would hope that our loved ones, should we be unlucky to end up with this fate, would understand this.
As for college, this is our second time and it's still nerve-wracking! different kid, different schools. I keep telling myself it will be over soon!
I have deep anxiety about losing my parents before i've learned more about their lives / past / childhoods / families, of which I know very little because they don't often talk about it and it never feels like the right time to ask the questions. In fact, the one time I got a long-form story from my dad about his time in the Korean army was only when I had a assignment for an oral history class and I *had* to do it. Maybe 2024 will be the year.
Have you heard of the Parents are Human bilingual card deck? I’ve been meaning to try it to facilitate these conversations with my parents! It takes time and I always find each time I ask I receive a precious new detail or feeling from them.
I haven't! Looking intot it! I was looking into Storyworthy too but I think writing is hard and slow for my mom (b/c English is not her first language) and so it's a big ask
So many of us have the same experience, it always amazes me. They don't want to talk about it, never the right time. I thought being with my mom 24/7 for nearly 3 weeks on our trip would be the right time but it still wasn't. I'm now thinking that there is a part of me that doesn't want to unearth some of the past. I still haven't read my mom's book, so there is some mental block on my end too I think, hmmm.
Jenna I had no idea you were on Youtube! Immediate subscribe. This meditation on documenting and the frays of family history was really beautiful. Happy holidays and see you in 2024!
Ha, it was a fluke! Our Korean tour guide asked me if I was a YouTuber and I said yes and I have no idea why. Anyway, it's been fun exploring another creative medium and I'm learning with each one.
Thank you for sharing your stories with us. It has especially been helpful for me as we're about the same age (maybe even exact), and so much of what you write is what I mull over. It's nice to know others are feeling similarly. It's so interesting how we are our worst critic. What I see of you superficially, when you share that rare photo of you, is someone whose natural beauty I wish I possessed, a poise I aim to achieve but always seem to fall short. You are style stands out as well. I see nothing of the things you grapple with, lol. A phrase often goes through my head when I see old pictures of people when they were younger: "We are all beautiful when we're young, aren't we?" WIsh I had the foresight then to have appreciated that about myself. I'm trying to settle into that mindset now, but it's hard having gained some menopausal weight, and the reality in the drop in energy, stamina, and strength adding to the mix. I keep telling myself that I better enjoy myself now because it's all I have. I hope you and your family settle into some rest and relaxation this holiday break. Wishing you a phenomenal 2024 and I look forward to more of your writing.
We truly are our worst critic, absolutely, but we're at a weird age too where everything about our bodies are changing and it's unfamiliar and strange. I suppose, like puberty, we need to grow into these changes. I don't like to talk about my own weight gain because it's a sensitive issue for many people, but I am also 15-20 pounds heavier now than I was pre-kids. I mean, I definitely was underweight before so I'm at a normal healthy weight now for my height but I've had to get comfortable with this new body over the years. I guess I still hold on to vanity. I still dye my hair! But I don't know about poise! I'm pretty dorky in real life and kind of socially awkward 😂
Your writing never fails to dig deep into me, Jenna. It's always the richest journey to read what you share and the video is a seamless video accompaniment. Just lovely. I certainly can understand the urge to document as I share in your same fear of memory loss, too. Although, as it all ends with me I don't feel the personal urge to document for the future as much. However, as one who came from a family of buried secrets and dismissed stories you are offering your kids an *invaluable* gift to be sure. Wishing you and yours the best in the new year. xo B
I mourn all the history and stories that my grandmother and then my father took with them when they passed. I feel like I know so little and this makes me so sad. It saddens me too that I didn't push and ask more but it's just so easy to slough it off or feel like it just isn't the right time or something that I often ask myself: was I simply afraid to push and know more? Thank you so much for sharing, Jenna. I always appreciate your words and marvel at some of the similarities between our journeys.
If you read through the comments Natalie, you (and I) are not alone in this sentiment. I wrote on another thread that I'm beginning to think I'm not ready to learn more either. There's a block there, I'm realizing. I know it's your first Christmas without your dad. Thinking of you and hope you find some joy the next few weeks.
Thank you Abigail! Like everything, there has to be a balance (and reading the room!). I often think too that I need to just savor the moment, but after recent life experiences, I realized that I'm still doing that, just with a camera on hand :)
Powerful to read your testimony about why you do it and it makes so much sense. I think that can inspire others in a big way. When we realize how precious these memories are it magnifies. Future generations will be able to know you so well.
Thank you Alexander. Preserving our family history begins with me and my mom. It's never too late.
Absolutely, btw one of my best friends lives in Korea, Daegu. He tells me a bit about his life there. We love Korean food too.
I definitely need to go back, this time with my own family. I am only just getting reacquainted with the country.
Where we live is a huge Korean community, lots of restaurants, ramen shops, very nice cafes. I really enjoy going to these places.
Wow, that is really great to hear. The Korean cultural influences have been spreading far!
Thank you for coming to me (nearly) every week, always with something beautifully said (and photographed) and something important to think about.
Christina! Thank YOU for your support—I am really so ver grateful. I wish you and yours a very happy holidays.
This might be my favorite newsletter of 2023. Thank you for being you. 🫰🏼✨️
Happy Holidays Jenna. I'll be sending your daughter good college acceptance vibes!
Oh Janice, that is an honor, thank you so much. And I will take all the good college acceptance energy 😂
I agree totally with this sentiment about documenting your life - and your video is really inspiring!
Thank you so much Francesca. And for watching the video 😊
Thanks for sharing, Jenna. Sending love and continued blessings for the coming year to you and your family.
Happy holidays, Sharon! Much love to you and your family ✨
What an unbelievably moving newsletter, thank you, Jenna. As always, I am in awe of your beautiful video editing, and seeing that video was moving in a whole different way. Reading this touched something deep in me, both a tenderness and a fear. I’ve never been afraid of aging, but it’s sobering to think about now that I accumulate dents and losses and am experiencing my kids’ departures and my parents’ (in one way and another). I feel more vulnerable than I ever have before. That’s not a bad thing, but it is a tender thing. I am wishing you well as you I am wishing you well as you all make it through those college apps and appreciate sharing this journey with you.
Asha, thank you. Aging really scares me. I'm guessing partly because of my dad's illness. I feel like I saw the most inhumane possibility of it. All the reason why this shift in direction, career and earning power be damned! And thank you. I appreciate meeting you this year.
Thanks for sharing with us your life and journey. Our memories for the next generation are important to document. I've been thinking about my grandmother as well. She died the day before I was to turn 20, Christmas Eve. 20 years of life in America, she never did get a chance to go back and visit her homeland. She told me many stories of the Japanese occupation and how her father stopped letting her go to school at 10 years old since she was female. Married at 15 or else the Japanese will capture you and more stories.
Hope you have good family time as you get through those college applications with C. Perhaps your mom can you fill in on some stories.
Merry Christmas ⛄🎁⛄ and on to 2024 ~~~🏞️
I'm not sure if my grandmother went back. Maybe once? But I'm not sure. She lived here 41 years. Many of them in older generations never looked back. It took my mom 25 years to go back the first time. There was nothing to go back to, and now, it's such a different country that it's unrecognizeable to them.
Happy holidays to you too! Hope 2024 brings new joys.
Jenna - always appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to share your life with us. My grandmother and great-grandfather had Alzheimer's. It concerns me as well and I have some of the same fears you do. Mostly I fear treating my family poorly if I am unable to remember them.
We went through the college applications a couple years ago. It was nerve-wracking but it worked out in the end. Now David is a sophomore and doing great. It is a transition phase for sure but wonderful to see our kids do well.
Have a great holiday season and enjoy your time away from the computer!
Matthew, thank you! About treating family poorly. Yes, this was one of the things that was so difficult. Aside from the physical aggression, the emotional one is almost harder, but you have to remember that it's because of the disease. To not take it personally takes great will. I would hope that our loved ones, should we be unlucky to end up with this fate, would understand this.
As for college, this is our second time and it's still nerve-wracking! different kid, different schools. I keep telling myself it will be over soon!
Happy holidays!
I have deep anxiety about losing my parents before i've learned more about their lives / past / childhoods / families, of which I know very little because they don't often talk about it and it never feels like the right time to ask the questions. In fact, the one time I got a long-form story from my dad about his time in the Korean army was only when I had a assignment for an oral history class and I *had* to do it. Maybe 2024 will be the year.
Have you heard of the Parents are Human bilingual card deck? I’ve been meaning to try it to facilitate these conversations with my parents! It takes time and I always find each time I ask I receive a precious new detail or feeling from them.
I haven't hear about this! Interesting!
I haven't! Looking intot it! I was looking into Storyworthy too but I think writing is hard and slow for my mom (b/c English is not her first language) and so it's a big ask
We bought it! The Korean questions are easy to read as well :)
So many of us have the same experience, it always amazes me. They don't want to talk about it, never the right time. I thought being with my mom 24/7 for nearly 3 weeks on our trip would be the right time but it still wasn't. I'm now thinking that there is a part of me that doesn't want to unearth some of the past. I still haven't read my mom's book, so there is some mental block on my end too I think, hmmm.
Thank you for sharing your life with us, Jenna! I loved the video. xo
Melanie, thank you! And I wish good things for you and your art going into 2024. I admire your dedication to it.
Thank you so much!
Jenna I had no idea you were on Youtube! Immediate subscribe. This meditation on documenting and the frays of family history was really beautiful. Happy holidays and see you in 2024!
Ha, it was a fluke! Our Korean tour guide asked me if I was a YouTuber and I said yes and I have no idea why. Anyway, it's been fun exploring another creative medium and I'm learning with each one.
Thank you for this lovely post and the reminder of time passing and how important it is to make lasting family memories 💙
I have loved diacovering your newsletter this year and the similarities we share in this stage of life! Hope you have (relatively) stress-free break 😀
Thank you for all your support this year, Kate! By the way, I bought The Last Story of Mina Lee and I hope to read it soon (after college apps!)
You're welcome, and that's great! I'd love to know what you think of it. Good luck with the apps, I know it's a stressful time :)
Thank you for sharing your stories with us. It has especially been helpful for me as we're about the same age (maybe even exact), and so much of what you write is what I mull over. It's nice to know others are feeling similarly. It's so interesting how we are our worst critic. What I see of you superficially, when you share that rare photo of you, is someone whose natural beauty I wish I possessed, a poise I aim to achieve but always seem to fall short. You are style stands out as well. I see nothing of the things you grapple with, lol. A phrase often goes through my head when I see old pictures of people when they were younger: "We are all beautiful when we're young, aren't we?" WIsh I had the foresight then to have appreciated that about myself. I'm trying to settle into that mindset now, but it's hard having gained some menopausal weight, and the reality in the drop in energy, stamina, and strength adding to the mix. I keep telling myself that I better enjoy myself now because it's all I have. I hope you and your family settle into some rest and relaxation this holiday break. Wishing you a phenomenal 2024 and I look forward to more of your writing.
We truly are our worst critic, absolutely, but we're at a weird age too where everything about our bodies are changing and it's unfamiliar and strange. I suppose, like puberty, we need to grow into these changes. I don't like to talk about my own weight gain because it's a sensitive issue for many people, but I am also 15-20 pounds heavier now than I was pre-kids. I mean, I definitely was underweight before so I'm at a normal healthy weight now for my height but I've had to get comfortable with this new body over the years. I guess I still hold on to vanity. I still dye my hair! But I don't know about poise! I'm pretty dorky in real life and kind of socially awkward 😂
Your writing never fails to dig deep into me, Jenna. It's always the richest journey to read what you share and the video is a seamless video accompaniment. Just lovely. I certainly can understand the urge to document as I share in your same fear of memory loss, too. Although, as it all ends with me I don't feel the personal urge to document for the future as much. However, as one who came from a family of buried secrets and dismissed stories you are offering your kids an *invaluable* gift to be sure. Wishing you and yours the best in the new year. xo B
I hope you find some joy and peace this holiday season. You are in my mind and heart so much, B. xoxo
I mourn all the history and stories that my grandmother and then my father took with them when they passed. I feel like I know so little and this makes me so sad. It saddens me too that I didn't push and ask more but it's just so easy to slough it off or feel like it just isn't the right time or something that I often ask myself: was I simply afraid to push and know more? Thank you so much for sharing, Jenna. I always appreciate your words and marvel at some of the similarities between our journeys.
If you read through the comments Natalie, you (and I) are not alone in this sentiment. I wrote on another thread that I'm beginning to think I'm not ready to learn more either. There's a block there, I'm realizing. I know it's your first Christmas without your dad. Thinking of you and hope you find some joy the next few weeks.