Awesome read! We just came back from our own vacation. Disneyland was nothing but hustle for three straight days but we did follow it with a couple lazy days in the mountain.
As for retirement I’m curious how it will go with me. I thought I was on a glide path but things went sideways at my old place and now I’m on a big fancy job that could well keep me busy for a decade or two.... oh well I guess it’s a fools errand to plan too far ahead.
Which maybe is another indictment of hustle culture—obsessively sacrificing today for a uncertain tomorrow.
I just read your newsletter about Disney! When we went there about 12 or so years ago (Florida Disney) we planned that trip so ridiculously. A different park per day for 4 straight days from opening to closing. This is what I was referring to about how we usually vacation. When I look back, I'm like, what was I thinking??
Congrats on your big fancy job! Employment is totally weird in mid-life. It's probably going to be its own newsletter :)
Yeah, that’s another reason we avoided those lightening passes. Planning out our days in advance really felt like work. Min-maxing the day at the park felt so wrong. I mean when you spend 300 per day on entrance fees you wanna make the most of it....so yeah it’s a struggle!
haha exactly, but I remember the kids were so sleepy and I was like, wake up kids! We have to watch the fireworks over the castle and the parade! It was a bit much, but I didn't know if we'd ever go back to Disney...and we haven't!
For sure! Fortunately we live only a 4 hour drive away, so we can always pretend there will be a next time. Then again it was two decades between graduating college (before California Adventure opened up!) and taking our then 5 year old to Disney. I think the pressure of once in a lifetime Disney trip would crush me.
I guess everything is once in a lifetime, we just don’t realize it!
What an interesting post. I am on native northwestern, but after being away for a great deal of time, I have had trouble reconnecting even in quiet moments.. I’m currently in the southwest exploring the possibility of new pastures my entire Substack has been devoted to figuring that out, although I don’t tell very many people :)
Hi Chuck! I can understand what you mean. I lived out here for 5 years in various places, my spouse grew up in Washington but has lived in NYC now for nearly 30 years. I don't connect with the NW cities anymore, which is surprising to me since I'm so sentimental, but it's the nature — the water, the mountains, the landscape that still call to me. I'm grateful that my kids have had these memories too.
Very nice of you to respond. If you look, you’ll see that I have been enchanted by the desert, even after forcing myself into the woods a bit in the Seattle area.. I guess dislocation does that and it’s pretty funny that I am still right writing under the supposed urbanist umbrella 🙏
The dessert is one kind of landscape that feels so foreign to me, but I have known quite a few friends who have been enchanted with it as you have. To clarify, I meant that I no longer have any sentimental attachments to the NW cities out here. I still live in NYC, which is where I grew up. Still very much attached to NY, maybe because it's home. Not sure how much of the urban aspect is what makes me stay. Maybe that is the next chapter too!
The desert should feel foreign—we have no business being there! If you’re bored, I’d suggest Reynard Banham’s Scenes from the American Deserta. Indeed it’s overdue for me to reread.
The desert is an amazing place, unfortunately my daughter wants to see trees....and my boy just follows big sis. So I wander the arroyos alone—and not nearly often enough!
Totally! That would be a great retirement project! In the meantime you can check out these two great desert substacks: Paula Borchardt's amazing visual journals and A. Christine Myer's Poetry (From the Mountains of the Sun).
The sleep thing is shocking, isn't it? Maybe the 2am bedtime thing is because I'm permanently on west coast time. The challenge now is to keep it up once I get home.
Hi Holly! Yes, I’m 54. I’m not retired with a capital R, but rather in this long pre-retirement phase. Retirement isn’t an age (well, in the US you do have to be a certain age to qualify for benefits and such). For me it’s a total shift in priorities and a new way of living. That said, it’s also not fully in our control if you work in certain ageist industries like I did in tech/design. It’s not impossible for me to get another full time job in this terrible tech job market but it’s pretty bad out there and my age will work against me. Also, do I want to? This is what I mean about losing my career ambitions. I will probably always do something (I do still need to earn money!) but I am done with corporate America and chasing after titles and prestige.
Yeah you’re too young to officially retire - you need to be 67 in the USA if you were born after the late 60s I think…. to retire technically but now I get it thanks to your reply, you just have a bit of a pause atm. I get it. I think it’s a normal midlife shift in thinking - a reevaluation period in the early 50s, I remember it happening in the first few years of any new decade I entered, but over 40 everything just feels more daunting and big and the feeling of TIME IS RUNNING OUT and old age looming over the fence saying MOVE TO FLORIDA… I feel like it’s important to plan for retirement but I also can’t accept STOPPING for at least another 15-20 years. I am scared to stop and get dementia like my mom. But I am also at this crossroads stage with career so I get it, it’s a weird limbo I’m feeling….
I dip in and out of ambition. Lately I am learning to enjoy it as a game and that’s given me a lot of joy. Once it stopped being for anyone else it got both harder and easier.
I still struggle to do nothing. I wonder how much of it is genetic — my grandmother hovered like a hummingbird for her whole life. Generations of adhd? This was lovely ❤️
The challenge I think will be when I get home. Will I still be able to maintain this mindset of rest? It's easy when it feels like your life is suspended till you return. I'm really so curious to find out!
Jenna, I loved this whole piece! Especially your descriptions of the scenes around you in Washington. It's been a full summer without much slowing/pausing, and reading those first two paragraphs hinted at this need to just be and pay closer attention to my life and surroundings. Thanks for that. Felt like a gift to read. 🎁
Thank you Erika. My summer had been the same till now too. I guess that is the whole point of vacation, and this time around I'm trying to embrace it!!
Yup, you captured my exact mood (the luxuriating and the angst all together, all at once) yet again. Thank you for doing this important work of documenting (when the words come!) this time. I find it extremely useful, and I know I’m not the only one!
I always find it easier to relax on vacation than at home, even when vacation days are, by definition, limited. Maybe because even relaxing and “doing nothing” in a beautiful and different locale feels like doing something, whereas doing nothing in my own house feels like truly… doing… nothing. 😬😂 Brains are so tiresome sometimes.
Hmmm...I think you nailed it. Yeah, doing nothing at home feels different from doing nothing while on vacation. And in fact, we are doing something. This active resting is the something! As I've mentioned upthread, I am going to be so curious to see what I retain once I get home.
A healthy mind and soul is all that really matters at the end. You realize later that none of it really mattered. After all, we all don't live to 90 or even 60 to reap the benefits.
That Hustling and "grinding a career" life all goes down the drain if you're not happy and healthy.
Beautiful read. This is going to sound trite, but I feel like I'm right there with you through your writing. The realignments that are happening in your life right now must be intense, but it's good to see you making ways to share how you're processing everything.
Gorgeous. How I love the energy and feel of this piece!
♥️
🥰❤️
What a beautiful read. This really resonated with me. I hope to be where you are sometime soon.
It sure is a process! 🫠 But not a bad place to be 🥰
Awesome read! We just came back from our own vacation. Disneyland was nothing but hustle for three straight days but we did follow it with a couple lazy days in the mountain.
As for retirement I’m curious how it will go with me. I thought I was on a glide path but things went sideways at my old place and now I’m on a big fancy job that could well keep me busy for a decade or two.... oh well I guess it’s a fools errand to plan too far ahead.
Which maybe is another indictment of hustle culture—obsessively sacrificing today for a uncertain tomorrow.
I just read your newsletter about Disney! When we went there about 12 or so years ago (Florida Disney) we planned that trip so ridiculously. A different park per day for 4 straight days from opening to closing. This is what I was referring to about how we usually vacation. When I look back, I'm like, what was I thinking??
Congrats on your big fancy job! Employment is totally weird in mid-life. It's probably going to be its own newsletter :)
Yeah, that’s another reason we avoided those lightening passes. Planning out our days in advance really felt like work. Min-maxing the day at the park felt so wrong. I mean when you spend 300 per day on entrance fees you wanna make the most of it....so yeah it’s a struggle!
haha exactly, but I remember the kids were so sleepy and I was like, wake up kids! We have to watch the fireworks over the castle and the parade! It was a bit much, but I didn't know if we'd ever go back to Disney...and we haven't!
For sure! Fortunately we live only a 4 hour drive away, so we can always pretend there will be a next time. Then again it was two decades between graduating college (before California Adventure opened up!) and taking our then 5 year old to Disney. I think the pressure of once in a lifetime Disney trip would crush me.
I guess everything is once in a lifetime, we just don’t realize it!
Dammit, why does everything have to have five stages?
Ha, right? It also sounds a bit too like the 5 stages of grief for my liking.
What an interesting post. I am on native northwestern, but after being away for a great deal of time, I have had trouble reconnecting even in quiet moments.. I’m currently in the southwest exploring the possibility of new pastures my entire Substack has been devoted to figuring that out, although I don’t tell very many people :)
Hi Chuck! I can understand what you mean. I lived out here for 5 years in various places, my spouse grew up in Washington but has lived in NYC now for nearly 30 years. I don't connect with the NW cities anymore, which is surprising to me since I'm so sentimental, but it's the nature — the water, the mountains, the landscape that still call to me. I'm grateful that my kids have had these memories too.
Very nice of you to respond. If you look, you’ll see that I have been enchanted by the desert, even after forcing myself into the woods a bit in the Seattle area.. I guess dislocation does that and it’s pretty funny that I am still right writing under the supposed urbanist umbrella 🙏
The dessert is one kind of landscape that feels so foreign to me, but I have known quite a few friends who have been enchanted with it as you have. To clarify, I meant that I no longer have any sentimental attachments to the NW cities out here. I still live in NYC, which is where I grew up. Still very much attached to NY, maybe because it's home. Not sure how much of the urban aspect is what makes me stay. Maybe that is the next chapter too!
The desert should feel foreign—we have no business being there! If you’re bored, I’d suggest Reynard Banham’s Scenes from the American Deserta. Indeed it’s overdue for me to reread.
Yes—what I’m struggling with—Seattle should be my home and I should be having the experiences you are now—nearby. But years abroad messed with me!
The desert is an amazing place, unfortunately my daughter wants to see trees....and my boy just follows big sis. So I wander the arroyos alone—and not nearly often enough!
I haven't spent enough time there. I like the water and coastlines so much, but maybe this will be a true retirement thing :)
Totally! That would be a great retirement project! In the meantime you can check out these two great desert substacks: Paula Borchardt's amazing visual journals and A. Christine Myer's Poetry (From the Mountains of the Sun).
Thank you again for beautifully articulating the space where I find myself, too. I am over the moon that you found sleep!!
The sleep thing is shocking, isn't it? Maybe the 2am bedtime thing is because I'm permanently on west coast time. The challenge now is to keep it up once I get home.
Retirement? But aren't you only 50 or so?
Hi Holly! Yes, I’m 54. I’m not retired with a capital R, but rather in this long pre-retirement phase. Retirement isn’t an age (well, in the US you do have to be a certain age to qualify for benefits and such). For me it’s a total shift in priorities and a new way of living. That said, it’s also not fully in our control if you work in certain ageist industries like I did in tech/design. It’s not impossible for me to get another full time job in this terrible tech job market but it’s pretty bad out there and my age will work against me. Also, do I want to? This is what I mean about losing my career ambitions. I will probably always do something (I do still need to earn money!) but I am done with corporate America and chasing after titles and prestige.
Yeah you’re too young to officially retire - you need to be 67 in the USA if you were born after the late 60s I think…. to retire technically but now I get it thanks to your reply, you just have a bit of a pause atm. I get it. I think it’s a normal midlife shift in thinking - a reevaluation period in the early 50s, I remember it happening in the first few years of any new decade I entered, but over 40 everything just feels more daunting and big and the feeling of TIME IS RUNNING OUT and old age looming over the fence saying MOVE TO FLORIDA… I feel like it’s important to plan for retirement but I also can’t accept STOPPING for at least another 15-20 years. I am scared to stop and get dementia like my mom. But I am also at this crossroads stage with career so I get it, it’s a weird limbo I’m feeling….
Love this for you!
🫶
Oh my, I loved this one!
🫶🥰
I dip in and out of ambition. Lately I am learning to enjoy it as a game and that’s given me a lot of joy. Once it stopped being for anyone else it got both harder and easier.
I still struggle to do nothing. I wonder how much of it is genetic — my grandmother hovered like a hummingbird for her whole life. Generations of adhd? This was lovely ❤️
The challenge I think will be when I get home. Will I still be able to maintain this mindset of rest? It's easy when it feels like your life is suspended till you return. I'm really so curious to find out!
Jenna, I loved this whole piece! Especially your descriptions of the scenes around you in Washington. It's been a full summer without much slowing/pausing, and reading those first two paragraphs hinted at this need to just be and pay closer attention to my life and surroundings. Thanks for that. Felt like a gift to read. 🎁
Thank you Erika. My summer had been the same till now too. I guess that is the whole point of vacation, and this time around I'm trying to embrace it!!
Yup, you captured my exact mood (the luxuriating and the angst all together, all at once) yet again. Thank you for doing this important work of documenting (when the words come!) this time. I find it extremely useful, and I know I’m not the only one!
I always find it easier to relax on vacation than at home, even when vacation days are, by definition, limited. Maybe because even relaxing and “doing nothing” in a beautiful and different locale feels like doing something, whereas doing nothing in my own house feels like truly… doing… nothing. 😬😂 Brains are so tiresome sometimes.
Hmmm...I think you nailed it. Yeah, doing nothing at home feels different from doing nothing while on vacation. And in fact, we are doing something. This active resting is the something! As I've mentioned upthread, I am going to be so curious to see what I retain once I get home.
Incredibly lovely photos! I love this post so much - thank you Jenna for sharing!
Thank you for reading, Chery!
A healthy mind and soul is all that really matters at the end. You realize later that none of it really mattered. After all, we all don't live to 90 or even 60 to reap the benefits.
That Hustling and "grinding a career" life all goes down the drain if you're not happy and healthy.
Yes, I am feeling this so hard.
Beautiful read. This is going to sound trite, but I feel like I'm right there with you through your writing. The realignments that are happening in your life right now must be intense, but it's good to see you making ways to share how you're processing everything.
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