I had to give up reading when i had small children, because I found myself resenting having to stop reading to care for them! (“What, I need to cook, again?”) I have read pitifully few books since. There are at least three short stacks of books, in different parts of the house, not only unread but some only unwrapped and set down with the others. You’ve inspired me to combine them all and schedule in some reading time to retain my brain. Knowing I’m not alone with this problem really encourages me. Thank you!
Betty, I’m so happy to hear that. And scheduling time is the way to go. Also, it’s not a coincidence that I’m starting to take reading more seriously now that both my kids are in college. It’s not just the care of small children. It’s older kids with homework help, then college apps. Good luck with your reading!
I do think reading is a real muscle. I read ZERO complete books in 2020 when I was peak stress, agitated, two young kids, deep in pandemic. In 2024 I read almost fifty... and it has little (in my mind) to do with overall time and more to do with having found other ways to quiet my noisy brain and stress levels.
And, there's a positive reinforcement. I read because it's actually what allows me to focus in other areas of my life, but also believe I *can* read because I'm more focused when I'm doing those other things. If I don't read (books) for a long period, I feel restless, distracted, etc. This has definitely required a trade-off -- I now read minimal news and much less online -- but find that books stay with me for much longer, offer much more depth (obviously), and leave me feeling less...frazzled.
I also think reading is so much about momentum as I think any other creative act is. Once you get going you get going. Then you have a period with no momentum or the book just isn't right for your mental moment. The momentum eventually comes back or you find a book that really suits your headspace.
I’ve always admired your ability to read and your book lists. What you say about momentum makes a lot of sense. I think I never really got that initial push to get to that point. I feel so fragmented and frazzled and want so much to quiet my mind to get to that place of real focus. So I think it’s more than about books - as I said sort of retraining my brain.
I was an avid reader since my childhood, where I taught myself to read before even going to school. I could read for hours and hours and hours and also became a very, very fast reader. I also studied German and English Literature and even majored in German Literature (strangely enough, that didn't kill my joy for reading ;-) But somewhere along the way around having kids and life in general I lost the ability to focus, just as you described. I too felt the impatience when sitting down with a book and the pull of other media and it kind of scared me. Because being a reader was and somehow should be such a great part of my being. About three or four years ago I made it a mission to retrain my brain and it worked quite well for quite some time. I learned that I need the right kind of book (and that is totally arbitrary) for me for it to work. After overcoming the problem of not being able to focus for more than ten or 15 minutes, I found that a book still has to "click" with me somehow or I won't be able to finish it. As I am very prone to overstructuring every aspect of my life, I had rules in place for reading, like: I had to finish one book to be allowed to start the next... I even felt guilty for not finishing books. I felt guilty, because I just exclusively read fiction... And so on. But: When retraining, I consciously tried to let go of these rules and was soo delighted when a book "clicked" and there was this magical connection and experience I so loved as a child and teenager. It was beyond lovely to experience that again. It doesn't happen all the time. No. These are the special ones and I keep a list of my read books and mark the special ones with a ♥️ or even ♥️♥️ ;-) But I also allow myself now to just read and be surprised. Maybe it clicks, maybe not. Maybe I finish the book, but maybe not. And maybe I read monogamously or I read several books at once, so to speak. Sometimes I put real effort in it when there is a tedious part, when I have the feeling that the book and I myself deserve it. And sometimes I find simple delight in reading what my former self would deem quite trashy or fluffy literature. I was quite proud of myself that I managed to retrain. But then, last year, I just didn't read that much. It left me feeling kind of sad. Like it was a failure. But that again were my internal, arbitrary rules speaking. I had a lot on my plate last year. I learned to let go and sometimes just do nothing (very hard!). I am the one to make the rules about my reading (or get to not have any). I still yearn for the magical "click" and strong pull of a book. And sometimes it finds me. That is pure bliss. But I try to not force it and to not be too disappointed with myself when it, for quite some time, just doesn't happen. It certainly will, again :-) All this to say: reading books can be so wonderful. So I cheer you on. Don't be too hard on yourself. Let yourself just be open for the joy it may bring :-)
I totally understand about needing a book to click. Also understand about the guilt of not finishing a book. I powered through two books that I didn’t really love and last year started two more that I didn’t love and…I put it down. I wasn’t going to finish it. And nothing happened! Our attention and time is too precious to waste on books that don’t click with us. I appreciate your comment here. Seems like so many of us are united in this struggle.
I loved this, Jenna. I genuinely believe we go through "seasons" of reading, just as there are so many other "seasons" for different things throughout our lives.
I am not trying to advertise myself or grow my tiny (tiny!) Substack in any way. It's generally only for me. If it is inappropriate to include this link, IGNORE. But your essay reminded me of one I wrote in the period after my mom died ~two years ago.
I’m good at listening to audiobooks but not reading actual books. I’m trying slowly by reading the favorite books of my adolescence (Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume) before bed. It’s weird how hard this is.
So hard. I purposefully avoid audiobooks because I know it won’t help what I’m trying to reverse. I know that I’ll just multitask through it - which is opposite of what I want to do.
Thank you for the shout-out!! I LOVED Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow -- eager to hear what you think. Have been contemplating Han Kang this year as well. Currently easing into 2025 with a breezy mystery novel. 😊
Listening to Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow now. Dying. And I (Bethany) just read Vegetarian. I'm still pondering it. This newsletter is such a lovely homage to writing and reading. And your round-ups are wise, too. I think I love everything liminal ✨
Awww, thank you Bethany. Such a lovely comment to read today. I was thinking about starting Han’s work with the Vegetarian but a few people told me to start with Human Acts.
I loved Tomorrow Tomorrow and Tomorrow, also anything by Lauren Groff (especially Matrix or her book of short stories Florida), All Fours by Miranda July is hilarious and great. Don’t forget that life is too short to read books you don’t find interesting, so if you can’t make it through, put it down and pick up another one. Happy reading!! It’s a beautiful world inside a book.
I’ve been doing that! I stopped reading two books that I couldn’t get into. All Fours was talked about so much last year. I felt like I was one of the few people who hadn’t read it. Will get to it eventually I’m sure.
I know nothing about videos games and I fell in love with Tomorrow x3. However, the first time I downloaded the sample, I didn’t even finish that. I put it aside and a few months later I was in a better headspace and tried again and loved it. I think you’ll love it for a variety of reasons. Please come back and let us know your thoughts.
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I read 52 books and most of them were romance or romantasy. I have a degree in English literature, so I had to change my mindset about what “literature” is. I want to get lost in a story, cheer for the characters, enjoy a payoff. If that comes in the form of romance, WHO CARES?? Nobody!!! And if they do, boy that says so much about them and zero things about you.
I miss physical books but my Kobo eReader is the best thing. Anywhere, anytime, multiple books on the go, increase the font size, don't need adequate lighting-- it's unspeakably great. I read 58 books last year. That's probably enough, a person needs variety in their free time activities. 😊
58 books is amazing. I actually liked having both a kobo and kindle when I commuted on the subway. So much easier to read books especially if standing. Now that I work from home, I find that I much prefer to read books, mostly because it forces me off a screen!
As a writer and the daughter of a librarian, I find the tactile joy of holding a new book to be a beautifully simple yet profound pleasure. Learning about "tsundoku" (ahem, guilty) was delightful, and I feel inspired to approach my own bookshelf with renewed purpose!
Susan, I feel the same. Don’t want to do audiobooks because it’s a temptation to multitask. Digital readers were great when I had a commute. I want to feel that book in my hands now.
Thanks for sharing this, Jenna. I, too, have set the intention to be more immersed in my writing. Thanks for reminding me that undoing what excessive screen time takes time and patience. Here’s to reading books again!
Now that I know the word for it, I'm not going to feel as bad about my habitual practice of tsundoku.
I was rather pleased to learn that there was a word for it! A nice sounding word too.
I had to give up reading when i had small children, because I found myself resenting having to stop reading to care for them! (“What, I need to cook, again?”) I have read pitifully few books since. There are at least three short stacks of books, in different parts of the house, not only unread but some only unwrapped and set down with the others. You’ve inspired me to combine them all and schedule in some reading time to retain my brain. Knowing I’m not alone with this problem really encourages me. Thank you!
Betty, I’m so happy to hear that. And scheduling time is the way to go. Also, it’s not a coincidence that I’m starting to take reading more seriously now that both my kids are in college. It’s not just the care of small children. It’s older kids with homework help, then college apps. Good luck with your reading!
I do think reading is a real muscle. I read ZERO complete books in 2020 when I was peak stress, agitated, two young kids, deep in pandemic. In 2024 I read almost fifty... and it has little (in my mind) to do with overall time and more to do with having found other ways to quiet my noisy brain and stress levels.
And, there's a positive reinforcement. I read because it's actually what allows me to focus in other areas of my life, but also believe I *can* read because I'm more focused when I'm doing those other things. If I don't read (books) for a long period, I feel restless, distracted, etc. This has definitely required a trade-off -- I now read minimal news and much less online -- but find that books stay with me for much longer, offer much more depth (obviously), and leave me feeling less...frazzled.
I also think reading is so much about momentum as I think any other creative act is. Once you get going you get going. Then you have a period with no momentum or the book just isn't right for your mental moment. The momentum eventually comes back or you find a book that really suits your headspace.
I’ve always admired your ability to read and your book lists. What you say about momentum makes a lot of sense. I think I never really got that initial push to get to that point. I feel so fragmented and frazzled and want so much to quiet my mind to get to that place of real focus. So I think it’s more than about books - as I said sort of retraining my brain.
I was an avid reader since my childhood, where I taught myself to read before even going to school. I could read for hours and hours and hours and also became a very, very fast reader. I also studied German and English Literature and even majored in German Literature (strangely enough, that didn't kill my joy for reading ;-) But somewhere along the way around having kids and life in general I lost the ability to focus, just as you described. I too felt the impatience when sitting down with a book and the pull of other media and it kind of scared me. Because being a reader was and somehow should be such a great part of my being. About three or four years ago I made it a mission to retrain my brain and it worked quite well for quite some time. I learned that I need the right kind of book (and that is totally arbitrary) for me for it to work. After overcoming the problem of not being able to focus for more than ten or 15 minutes, I found that a book still has to "click" with me somehow or I won't be able to finish it. As I am very prone to overstructuring every aspect of my life, I had rules in place for reading, like: I had to finish one book to be allowed to start the next... I even felt guilty for not finishing books. I felt guilty, because I just exclusively read fiction... And so on. But: When retraining, I consciously tried to let go of these rules and was soo delighted when a book "clicked" and there was this magical connection and experience I so loved as a child and teenager. It was beyond lovely to experience that again. It doesn't happen all the time. No. These are the special ones and I keep a list of my read books and mark the special ones with a ♥️ or even ♥️♥️ ;-) But I also allow myself now to just read and be surprised. Maybe it clicks, maybe not. Maybe I finish the book, but maybe not. And maybe I read monogamously or I read several books at once, so to speak. Sometimes I put real effort in it when there is a tedious part, when I have the feeling that the book and I myself deserve it. And sometimes I find simple delight in reading what my former self would deem quite trashy or fluffy literature. I was quite proud of myself that I managed to retrain. But then, last year, I just didn't read that much. It left me feeling kind of sad. Like it was a failure. But that again were my internal, arbitrary rules speaking. I had a lot on my plate last year. I learned to let go and sometimes just do nothing (very hard!). I am the one to make the rules about my reading (or get to not have any). I still yearn for the magical "click" and strong pull of a book. And sometimes it finds me. That is pure bliss. But I try to not force it and to not be too disappointed with myself when it, for quite some time, just doesn't happen. It certainly will, again :-) All this to say: reading books can be so wonderful. So I cheer you on. Don't be too hard on yourself. Let yourself just be open for the joy it may bring :-)
Yes to removing the rules about what to read and for how long!
I totally understand about needing a book to click. Also understand about the guilt of not finishing a book. I powered through two books that I didn’t really love and last year started two more that I didn’t love and…I put it down. I wasn’t going to finish it. And nothing happened! Our attention and time is too precious to waste on books that don’t click with us. I appreciate your comment here. Seems like so many of us are united in this struggle.
I loved this, Jenna. I genuinely believe we go through "seasons" of reading, just as there are so many other "seasons" for different things throughout our lives.
I am not trying to advertise myself or grow my tiny (tiny!) Substack in any way. It's generally only for me. If it is inappropriate to include this link, IGNORE. But your essay reminded me of one I wrote in the period after my mom died ~two years ago.
https://sarahgordon.substack.com/p/reading-a-book-in-unexpected-company
I like seasons of reading. And I welcome a link to your newsletter!
I’m good at listening to audiobooks but not reading actual books. I’m trying slowly by reading the favorite books of my adolescence (Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume) before bed. It’s weird how hard this is.
So hard. I purposefully avoid audiobooks because I know it won’t help what I’m trying to reverse. I know that I’ll just multitask through it - which is opposite of what I want to do.
Thank you for the shout-out!! I LOVED Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow -- eager to hear what you think. Have been contemplating Han Kang this year as well. Currently easing into 2025 with a breezy mystery novel. 😊
I’m gonna read it next. I could use a breezy novel to read though! A bunch of heavy titles over here…
Listening to Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow now. Dying. And I (Bethany) just read Vegetarian. I'm still pondering it. This newsletter is such a lovely homage to writing and reading. And your round-ups are wise, too. I think I love everything liminal ✨
Awww, thank you Bethany. Such a lovely comment to read today. I was thinking about starting Han’s work with the Vegetarian but a few people told me to start with Human Acts.
Can't wait to hear your thoughts on it!
May I suggest a nice little fantasy story, "The Dreaming Gourd" by Victoria Long Mowrer.
Yes! I will happily take any recommendations!
I loved Tomorrow Tomorrow and Tomorrow, also anything by Lauren Groff (especially Matrix or her book of short stories Florida), All Fours by Miranda July is hilarious and great. Don’t forget that life is too short to read books you don’t find interesting, so if you can’t make it through, put it down and pick up another one. Happy reading!! It’s a beautiful world inside a book.
I’ve been doing that! I stopped reading two books that I couldn’t get into. All Fours was talked about so much last year. I felt like I was one of the few people who hadn’t read it. Will get to it eventually I’m sure.
I know nothing about videos games and I fell in love with Tomorrow x3. However, the first time I downloaded the sample, I didn’t even finish that. I put it aside and a few months later I was in a better headspace and tried again and loved it. I think you’ll love it for a variety of reasons. Please come back and let us know your thoughts.
-
I read 52 books and most of them were romance or romantasy. I have a degree in English literature, so I had to change my mindset about what “literature” is. I want to get lost in a story, cheer for the characters, enjoy a payoff. If that comes in the form of romance, WHO CARES?? Nobody!!! And if they do, boy that says so much about them and zero things about you.
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Enjoy your books!
I’m looking forward to reading it! And yes yes WHO CARES is right! A good romance novel can be sooooo good.
I miss physical books but my Kobo eReader is the best thing. Anywhere, anytime, multiple books on the go, increase the font size, don't need adequate lighting-- it's unspeakably great. I read 58 books last year. That's probably enough, a person needs variety in their free time activities. 😊
58 books is amazing. I actually liked having both a kobo and kindle when I commuted on the subway. So much easier to read books especially if standing. Now that I work from home, I find that I much prefer to read books, mostly because it forces me off a screen!
As a writer and the daughter of a librarian, I find the tactile joy of holding a new book to be a beautifully simple yet profound pleasure. Learning about "tsundoku" (ahem, guilty) was delightful, and I feel inspired to approach my own bookshelf with renewed purpose!
Susan, I feel the same. Don’t want to do audiobooks because it’s a temptation to multitask. Digital readers were great when I had a commute. I want to feel that book in my hands now.
Thanks for sharing this, Jenna. I, too, have set the intention to be more immersed in my writing. Thanks for reminding me that undoing what excessive screen time takes time and patience. Here’s to reading books again!
Yay! And yes! Let’s be kind to ourselves. It’s going to take time and patience.
Beautiful. I'm excited for you, especially because you picked Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. LOVED that book.
Seems like the consensus on this book. Excited for this one!
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow was one of my all-time favorites!! I'm so excited for you
So many people are saying this! Excited for this book now.