Thank you for reading, Patricia, and so nice to hear that it resonated. With all respect, I hope you can understand, that my playlist is intended for my daughter only.
i love that you shared this. I literally have a draft I will publish later this week about how powerful certain songs/bands will transport you to a certain time and connect our present selves with a past self and how it can be healing. "One of my greatest fears is that I’ll stop remembering and feel nothing" this is also a fear of mine and I think music is one of the most powerful tools that keeps us grounded.
I loved this post so much! My Substack, Still Singing, reflects on how music has impacted me and is also a jumping off point for how the Universe is communicating with me.
So many of my friends were Goth-lite in high school - we went to an all girls, private Catholic high school, so even if they wanted to, they couldn’t fully lean in. I was too busy listening to the music of the 50’s and 60’s in 80’s and 90’s… When I got to college, though, I discovered Pearl Jam, and they were the soundtrack to a lot of parties I went to.
I love that you and your daughter did playlists for each other. That is really cool and something she will always remember and treasure.
"goth-lite" ha! I actually went to a large co-ed catholic high school and our school didn't even have uniforms for the first two years (we did have a dress code) until the neighbors complained how the catholic school kids were running around with long hair and concert tees. So our school "eased" us into unforms by making us just wear the skirts or pants, but we could wear any collared shirt we wanted. I always laugh about that. But, you could always pick out the goths, even with the uniforms.
Your article has sent me into my own mini reminisce bump! Ah Depeche Mode and Blasphemous Rumors. Easily the most listened to band of my teens and their open critiques of the world order really made me feel seen when there wasn't a lot of room for that kind of thing.
I saw them live at the Rose Bowl when the sky lit up with a lighting bolt and suddenly started raining in the summer night (both exceedingly rare events for this region). Pop culture likes to remember this happened during Blasphemous Rumors but that was the next song however the timing was still perfection.
My husband (who i wouldn't meet for several years) worked as security for the same concert. Why they hired 20 yr olds is beyond me haha. Anyways he was stationed right next to the stage and as the crowd went insane when the rain started falling, Martin Gore spread out his arms and said sort of under his breath, "I'm god". My husband said you couldn't hear it unless you were right next to him. And with 60k screaming and the rain coming down, my husband said he had to agree with how that must have felt.
Depeche Mode was probably my 2nd concert ever, but they're the band I've seen the most, most recently whenever they toured last before Fletch died. I always preferred Martin's voice over Dave's though I do love them both. The Rose Bowl concerts were iconic!!
Edit: I just spoke to my husband and he clarified that Martin Gore didn't say that outloud. He mouthed the words but my husband was close enough that he could see what he was saying.
This is such a beautiful way of sharing your love of life and music with your daughter. This is the kind of relationship that I will aspire to have with my daughter for the years to come.
This is so beautiful. You've transported me back to a time when my friends and I would make CD mixes of our favourite songs donned with black marker illustrations. Your relationship with your daughter reminds me of mine with my Dad. He would buy me CDs of the best music I needed to listen to: ACDC, TLC, and Courtney Love! To this day, we still swap the latest bands we're listening to.
That is really sweet about you and your dad. Up until our playlist swap, I had no idea what my kid listened to. We're only on headphones, mostly, and oddly enough, we don't usually play music on speakers in the house? I was really pleased to see that she added quite a number of songs from my playlist to her favorites!
This is wonderful, thank you. I had a whole "Black Celebration" season of my adolescence. I remember taping songs off the radio and I can still hear those radio transitions in my head. How special that you were able to connect in this way. I don't think my daughter will reciprocate, but I love the idea of music from me and from our family life to take with you on the road. I wish I could send photos of my kid's outfit for JPROM (she is private so I would never)...she is my emotional support goth..she went full on The Craft witchy vibe and it was glorious.
I know Violator is considered their most iconic album, but I love Black Celebration. It had such a huge influence on me. Your kid's outfit sounds great! Is it prom season already?
Recently I've noticed that only the songs that haven't been "chosen" by the radio algorithms to be played ad nauseam (all the Chili Peppers songs, Santeria by Sublime, etc.) are the ones that hold the most memories for me. Thankfully it's still a lot. I want to keep those song memories and feelings attached to those times because they are such strong ties, so I feel that I need to be careful to keep them to the random pop-ups here and there in order to not over-write the memories with the present.
OMG “Blasphemous Rumors!!!” My friend was becoming a born again Christian in JHS and destroyed her Depeche Mode CD bc of that song.
I mean...she's probably not the only one!
That post totally resonated with me. Could you share your list of songs?
Thank you for reading, Patricia, and so nice to hear that it resonated. With all respect, I hope you can understand, that my playlist is intended for my daughter only.
Wonderful post. Depeche Mode was in heavy rotation when I was in high school, and I felt everything so deeply.
They were the perfect band for those adolescent years :)
i love that you shared this. I literally have a draft I will publish later this week about how powerful certain songs/bands will transport you to a certain time and connect our present selves with a past self and how it can be healing. "One of my greatest fears is that I’ll stop remembering and feel nothing" this is also a fear of mine and I think music is one of the most powerful tools that keeps us grounded.
I was just reading how music helps Alzheimer's patients remember certain memories. Makes sense. I look forward to reading your newsletter!
I love this post, all its detail and depth. Music does the same for me, the same.
I'm definitely leaning into all my comfort songs right now!
I’m not crying, you’re crying! Thank you for such a wonderful post.
😭 🥹
I love the "emotional support goth." And the idea of trading playlists with your kid!
We can all use an emotional support goth right now!
I loved this post so much! My Substack, Still Singing, reflects on how music has impacted me and is also a jumping off point for how the Universe is communicating with me.
So many of my friends were Goth-lite in high school - we went to an all girls, private Catholic high school, so even if they wanted to, they couldn’t fully lean in. I was too busy listening to the music of the 50’s and 60’s in 80’s and 90’s… When I got to college, though, I discovered Pearl Jam, and they were the soundtrack to a lot of parties I went to.
I love that you and your daughter did playlists for each other. That is really cool and something she will always remember and treasure.
"goth-lite" ha! I actually went to a large co-ed catholic high school and our school didn't even have uniforms for the first two years (we did have a dress code) until the neighbors complained how the catholic school kids were running around with long hair and concert tees. So our school "eased" us into unforms by making us just wear the skirts or pants, but we could wear any collared shirt we wanted. I always laugh about that. But, you could always pick out the goths, even with the uniforms.
Your article has sent me into my own mini reminisce bump! Ah Depeche Mode and Blasphemous Rumors. Easily the most listened to band of my teens and their open critiques of the world order really made me feel seen when there wasn't a lot of room for that kind of thing.
I saw them live at the Rose Bowl when the sky lit up with a lighting bolt and suddenly started raining in the summer night (both exceedingly rare events for this region). Pop culture likes to remember this happened during Blasphemous Rumors but that was the next song however the timing was still perfection.
My husband (who i wouldn't meet for several years) worked as security for the same concert. Why they hired 20 yr olds is beyond me haha. Anyways he was stationed right next to the stage and as the crowd went insane when the rain started falling, Martin Gore spread out his arms and said sort of under his breath, "I'm god". My husband said you couldn't hear it unless you were right next to him. And with 60k screaming and the rain coming down, my husband said he had to agree with how that must have felt.
Depeche Mode was probably my 2nd concert ever, but they're the band I've seen the most, most recently whenever they toured last before Fletch died. I always preferred Martin's voice over Dave's though I do love them both. The Rose Bowl concerts were iconic!!
Edit: I just spoke to my husband and he clarified that Martin Gore didn't say that outloud. He mouthed the words but my husband was close enough that he could see what he was saying.
This is such a beautiful way of sharing your love of life and music with your daughter. This is the kind of relationship that I will aspire to have with my daughter for the years to come.
Ooooh, you are having a girl?!
I am!
Congratulations!! 💕
Jennaaa! You really knocked it out of the park (ha, no pun intended) with this one
Oh man, that’s so nice of you to say. Thank you.
This is so beautiful. You've transported me back to a time when my friends and I would make CD mixes of our favourite songs donned with black marker illustrations. Your relationship with your daughter reminds me of mine with my Dad. He would buy me CDs of the best music I needed to listen to: ACDC, TLC, and Courtney Love! To this day, we still swap the latest bands we're listening to.
That is really sweet about you and your dad. Up until our playlist swap, I had no idea what my kid listened to. We're only on headphones, mostly, and oddly enough, we don't usually play music on speakers in the house? I was really pleased to see that she added quite a number of songs from my playlist to her favorites!
This is wonderful, thank you. I had a whole "Black Celebration" season of my adolescence. I remember taping songs off the radio and I can still hear those radio transitions in my head. How special that you were able to connect in this way. I don't think my daughter will reciprocate, but I love the idea of music from me and from our family life to take with you on the road. I wish I could send photos of my kid's outfit for JPROM (she is private so I would never)...she is my emotional support goth..she went full on The Craft witchy vibe and it was glorious.
I know Violator is considered their most iconic album, but I love Black Celebration. It had such a huge influence on me. Your kid's outfit sounds great! Is it prom season already?
This is a very sweet and deep way for you and your kid to connect. I'll be checking out the songs you name dropped here!
Thank you Bryan ☺️
Recently I've noticed that only the songs that haven't been "chosen" by the radio algorithms to be played ad nauseam (all the Chili Peppers songs, Santeria by Sublime, etc.) are the ones that hold the most memories for me. Thankfully it's still a lot. I want to keep those song memories and feelings attached to those times because they are such strong ties, so I feel that I need to be careful to keep them to the random pop-ups here and there in order to not over-write the memories with the present.
Love this!