As someone born and raised in mainland china then spent all of her adult life in western society, I completely feel and agree with you Jenna.
My mum was the eldest out of 8 children. My mum always wanted me to be a boy, as much as she loved me, which caused much strain in our relationship. It wasn't until last year my aging mum revealed that the "second" child my grandparents had was a baby girl , and she was abandoned a couple days after birth, which was very common in China in the 50s.
I couldn't imagine the trauma that my mum had been through, knowing that she was kept alive only because she was the first born.
Sex election is wrong, in any shape or form.
Yet, how to respect women and teach young women is a much tougher task. Because today, in mainland China, 50% abortion are from young women under age 25.
A Swiss friend of mine working for NGOs and invited me to work with her on sex trauma healing in mainland China . I told her I didn't have the strength to tackle the task, too heavy for me.
Appreciate the comment here. Thank you for sharing a bit about your family. There's SO MUCH trauma around gender, family honor, and familial expectations. It's fractured relationships in my family. My mom doesn't even know for sure just how many half siblings she has. I was surprised when I learned that sex selection via IVF was legal here in the U.S. and some other countries. It raises questions of how many are doing it not for fertility issues, but to select the sex of their babies. I just never even thought about it! And I agree, the topic is very heavy to base your life around the research.
The global fertility market was valued at US$34·7 billion in 2023 and is projected to grow to 62·8 billion in just 10 years.
There is no better mirror than fertility industry to see through the human desires, struggles, the pure, and the evil.
Thank you so much for writing such a genuine yet insightful piece. Upon waking up this morning, I felt my wound from the gender injustice healed a bit more. 🩵
I was thrilled to be the father of two girls. Then I had a son, ten years after my older girl. I was still thrilled. But the girls were underwhelmed for the first 15 years or so. I think they've grown to like him now that he's twenty.
That sounds just like my uncle (the son my grandmother always wanted). Two girls and then a son 10 years later. I'm pretty sure my cousins like their baby brother too 😀
Again, such a great piece. I can't even think of where to start with a comment that doesn't sound bonkers except that to concur that my mom was excessively punitive with her daughters and punishment was non-existent for her son. It's such a weird concept to me that some women take out life's frustrations on their daughters.
This has been so much on my mind lately! Thank you so much for writing and researching about it.
When we first found out we were having a girl at week 10 through a blood test, my MIL did not completely trust it (never mind that she is a physician herself lol). She was hoping that the test was not 100% accurate. By the time we did the ultrasound scan at week 20, she still asked if the gender was confirmed, even though we had already told her 10 weeks prior. Even now, she still tells her friends that"maybe" it's a girl and assures us that "A girl is good too, because an older sister could take care of a younger brother." This comment itself is just so problematic on so many levels. I know she will love her granddaughter dearly but the fact that she clearly shows a preference for a boy bothers me so much. I just couldn't believe that we are in this century, and these things still come up so close to home.
I just read Of Boys and Men by Richard Reeves and I appreciate your willingness to research and write this piece. I immediately had to re-stack it.
Thank you so much, Terri!
As someone born and raised in mainland china then spent all of her adult life in western society, I completely feel and agree with you Jenna.
My mum was the eldest out of 8 children. My mum always wanted me to be a boy, as much as she loved me, which caused much strain in our relationship. It wasn't until last year my aging mum revealed that the "second" child my grandparents had was a baby girl , and she was abandoned a couple days after birth, which was very common in China in the 50s.
I couldn't imagine the trauma that my mum had been through, knowing that she was kept alive only because she was the first born.
Sex election is wrong, in any shape or form.
Yet, how to respect women and teach young women is a much tougher task. Because today, in mainland China, 50% abortion are from young women under age 25.
A Swiss friend of mine working for NGOs and invited me to work with her on sex trauma healing in mainland China . I told her I didn't have the strength to tackle the task, too heavy for me.
Appreciate the comment here. Thank you for sharing a bit about your family. There's SO MUCH trauma around gender, family honor, and familial expectations. It's fractured relationships in my family. My mom doesn't even know for sure just how many half siblings she has. I was surprised when I learned that sex selection via IVF was legal here in the U.S. and some other countries. It raises questions of how many are doing it not for fertility issues, but to select the sex of their babies. I just never even thought about it! And I agree, the topic is very heavy to base your life around the research.
The global fertility market was valued at US$34·7 billion in 2023 and is projected to grow to 62·8 billion in just 10 years.
There is no better mirror than fertility industry to see through the human desires, struggles, the pure, and the evil.
Thank you so much for writing such a genuine yet insightful piece. Upon waking up this morning, I felt my wound from the gender injustice healed a bit more. 🩵
I was thrilled to be the father of two girls. Then I had a son, ten years after my older girl. I was still thrilled. But the girls were underwhelmed for the first 15 years or so. I think they've grown to like him now that he's twenty.
That sounds just like my uncle (the son my grandmother always wanted). Two girls and then a son 10 years later. I'm pretty sure my cousins like their baby brother too 😀
Again, such a great piece. I can't even think of where to start with a comment that doesn't sound bonkers except that to concur that my mom was excessively punitive with her daughters and punishment was non-existent for her son. It's such a weird concept to me that some women take out life's frustrations on their daughters.
This has been so much on my mind lately! Thank you so much for writing and researching about it.
When we first found out we were having a girl at week 10 through a blood test, my MIL did not completely trust it (never mind that she is a physician herself lol). She was hoping that the test was not 100% accurate. By the time we did the ultrasound scan at week 20, she still asked if the gender was confirmed, even though we had already told her 10 weeks prior. Even now, she still tells her friends that"maybe" it's a girl and assures us that "A girl is good too, because an older sister could take care of a younger brother." This comment itself is just so problematic on so many levels. I know she will love her granddaughter dearly but the fact that she clearly shows a preference for a boy bothers me so much. I just couldn't believe that we are in this century, and these things still come up so close to home.