THis was a very strange post for me to read as Calgon is, in France, a brand that sells small tablets you put in your washing machine to avoid limestone deposits https://www.calgon.fr/histoire/. I couldn't quite understand why American moms used these in their bathtubs until I clicked on the IG account .
Fresh air and walks really make a difference. I hope you're having a good day today!
Hi Jenna - I'm a longtime reader and am so glad you are writing and sharing again. I have always loved your way of capturing parenthood and personal struggles but also your keen observations of your day to day environment and making ordinary things feel really extraordinary. My daughter is the same age as your youngest and I relate to much of what you are experiencing. So, just wanted to say thank you!
I've been grappling with these same questions lately: what happens when the (older) kids realise mum is just human?? I don't think even we realise how much we hold back until it blows!
Calgon, take me away!! That stuck with me too! It came to mind months ago when I read Dr. Pooja Lakshmin describe 'faux self-care' and I especially remember it during the soaps — another escape for overburdened moms. My own Oz-like curtain was pulled back by my oldest during her teen years. And she tells her younger siblings they're lucky they'll never remember me as "perfect-ish" mom — though she does miss me baking more.
I STILL say “Calgon, take me away!” and expect everyone to get the reference! I, too, tried to recreate those luxuriant baths with whatever bubble bath or detergent we had on hand but could never get them that fluffy.
Re: parents revealing themselves; I feel so strongly about the importance of this. Our kids need US, not some sanitized facsimile of us. Watching us messily work through our “too much” moments shows them they can work through theirs (it also gives them permission the have them in the first place). More -- it shows them that “too much” moments are an everyday part of life, not a sign of failure or disaster. I’ve written and podcasted about the notion of “modeling imperfection” and think it’s even more important now, as our kids contend with adult life. Should they someday become parents, it will help them then too. I have friends who say “my Mom never lost her cool,” and judge themselves harshly when they do. I like to think my own struggles paint a more accurate and realistic picture of the experience of parenthood for my kids.
Wow, again, you tap into the very same sentiment and energy I've been feeling the last couple of weeks at my own home. In fact, at one point my daughter and I , so exhausted by the bevy of emotions and feelings that had been swirling around in our home; she decided to take a nap - a four and half hour nap to be exact. During that time, my husband decided to retreat to his studio, leaving me behind with the silence of all those emotions. I stared at the wall, I cat napped, I stared out the window, I thought "What is all this? What is it?" Then she finally woke up, told me that what she wanted to do was scream but instead chose sleep. I gave her a hug and secretly thought "I wanted to scream too."
Calgon, take me awayyyy! When motherhood puts you over the edge.
THis was a very strange post for me to read as Calgon is, in France, a brand that sells small tablets you put in your washing machine to avoid limestone deposits https://www.calgon.fr/histoire/. I couldn't quite understand why American moms used these in their bathtubs until I clicked on the IG account .
Fresh air and walks really make a difference. I hope you're having a good day today!
Hi Jenna - I'm a longtime reader and am so glad you are writing and sharing again. I have always loved your way of capturing parenthood and personal struggles but also your keen observations of your day to day environment and making ordinary things feel really extraordinary. My daughter is the same age as your youngest and I relate to much of what you are experiencing. So, just wanted to say thank you!
I've been grappling with these same questions lately: what happens when the (older) kids realise mum is just human?? I don't think even we realise how much we hold back until it blows!
Calgon, take me away!! That stuck with me too! It came to mind months ago when I read Dr. Pooja Lakshmin describe 'faux self-care' and I especially remember it during the soaps — another escape for overburdened moms. My own Oz-like curtain was pulled back by my oldest during her teen years. And she tells her younger siblings they're lucky they'll never remember me as "perfect-ish" mom — though she does miss me baking more.
I STILL say “Calgon, take me away!” and expect everyone to get the reference! I, too, tried to recreate those luxuriant baths with whatever bubble bath or detergent we had on hand but could never get them that fluffy.
Re: parents revealing themselves; I feel so strongly about the importance of this. Our kids need US, not some sanitized facsimile of us. Watching us messily work through our “too much” moments shows them they can work through theirs (it also gives them permission the have them in the first place). More -- it shows them that “too much” moments are an everyday part of life, not a sign of failure or disaster. I’ve written and podcasted about the notion of “modeling imperfection” and think it’s even more important now, as our kids contend with adult life. Should they someday become parents, it will help them then too. I have friends who say “my Mom never lost her cool,” and judge themselves harshly when they do. I like to think my own struggles paint a more accurate and realistic picture of the experience of parenthood for my kids.
Wow, again, you tap into the very same sentiment and energy I've been feeling the last couple of weeks at my own home. In fact, at one point my daughter and I , so exhausted by the bevy of emotions and feelings that had been swirling around in our home; she decided to take a nap - a four and half hour nap to be exact. During that time, my husband decided to retreat to his studio, leaving me behind with the silence of all those emotions. I stared at the wall, I cat napped, I stared out the window, I thought "What is all this? What is it?" Then she finally woke up, told me that what she wanted to do was scream but instead chose sleep. I gave her a hug and secretly thought "I wanted to scream too."