Here’s someone they don’t tell you about food packaging; at some point in your aging process, you will not be able to twist that cap off, tear at the notch, find the sweet spot where the ziploc zippers, pull that pop-top off… open that bag of chips without resorting to using your teeth… or scissors, but then someone will have misplaced them… and you will need your teeth.
Take care of your teeth! You do not want to be that person who settles into her car after grocery shopping, staring out through the windshield and craving a swig of that ice cold Dr Pepper in a bottle with a chocolate TastyKake bell and not being able to open either without your teeth. 😁
(I know, way too specific but… 🤷♂️😳)
The food industry is trying to secretly starve old people, I’m convinced!
This is already me. Because of 20 years of computer mousing, and years of piano playing prior to that, my right wrist is very weak. I can't open a damn jar or cap that has to be twisted off.
And no, I will not be doing ANYTHING with my teeth, thank you.
More and more I'm having to ask my teenage son to open jars and bottles for me. I'm going to be buying those handy gadgets soon that they sell in home bargain stores - or just eating everything out of ring pull tins.
The last time I asked my son to open a bottle of Diet Coke for me, he took a channel lock out of his toolbelt and twisted it off… that little sh*t!! I mean, he’s 38, home for Christmas and draining my water heater so I held my tongue but we both know. 😉😁
I can't imagine having a 38 year old yet. That is a grown-ass full fledged adult! Not like my kids who are just on the edge of adulting but not really adulting.
Jenna I am sooooo appreciating how your humor is coming through stronger and stronger in these deliveries! 😂 Your perspective makes me feel well-supported in this journey of aging ♥️♥️
I think a while ago — and this is what I meant about finding my voice last week — I decided to just go with it. This is how I think, but sometimes it just doesn't come across in words, you know? I'm glad someone appreciates it! 🥰
honestly is there anything more comforting than a woman talking about normal aging things??? i'm nearing 40, and i'm sure you experienced it as well, but the beginning of aging is also sort of a mind-f. it's HARD to see examples of aging out there, let alone anyone actually TALKING about it. (photoshop, botox, fillers, and hair dye doesn't help this situation)
Cup of Jo recently had this little thread (https://cupofjo.com/2024/03/05/women-with-gray-hair-photos/) and it made me embrace my greys a bit more. but dang i need to go to an eye doc soon (all my loved ones tell me i squint a lot lol), and my back generally hurts, and yeah you get the point. etc etc etc. thanks for talking about a very relatable subject <3
Ohhhh, the part that I chopped off to make this newsletter shorter was all about the gray hair. Stay tuned, either next week or the one after.
I didn't realize it was this long ago, but about 7 years ago I finally went to the eye doctor because i was doing that "move things farther away from my eyes" thing to read. Didn't realize I would be getting triple progressives! Which reminds me, I need to go back to the eye doctor because things are getting awfully fuzzy again when I try to read signs from afar.
Oh, Jenna...once again, I HEAR YOU!! As someone who lost my mother when she was way too young, I also feel the pressure to embrace this ageing lark. I realise the absolute privilege it is but...it's just been kicking me lately! The 'thickening of mid-section' was particularly relatable this week (cue: throwing all my clothes in a pile and stomping off yesterday...) and the eyesight! I have always had great eyesight!! What the heck happened...
Also: great sketch! You can really see your form developing :)
"Aging lark" YES, that's what it is. Every week there is something new to contend with. And thank you about the sketch! I rarely get comments about my drawings (not that it's why I include them, it's so that I keep drawing and holds me accountable) so I appreciate it 🥰
So relatable -- this is like one of my favorite topics recently, which in itself seems like a sign of aging.
At 41, I feel firmly middle-aged, but in cities like LA (and maybe NYC?), it feels harder to say for sure: people my age go around looking 28, or contemplating having their first child, or non-ironically referring to themselves as "girlies." There are definitely times when I think, "maybe 41 is just like 28 but with more confidence/spending power?" Those are the good days, for sure.
On other ones though, I can feel myself settling into all the maintenance that it takes to protect, nurture, or "maintain" my aging body and appearance and freaking out about how every choice may come with a commitment to doing it or something like it FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Exercising or dying hair for fun feels so different than the commitment to doing it as an investment for decades. And yet, I never seriously consider just stopping doing any of it either, or at least not yet.
And back to my original point, it's actually makes me feel very in community with people (specifically women) in my general age range to participate in these conversations and practices. I certainly don't want to talk to anyone about getting wasted at a concert anymore, but will happily discuss the merits of various red-light facial masks instead?
I kind of forgot you were that much younger than me. When I was 40/41 I was feeling great! I felt like I was on top of the world!
And yes, we are in maintenance mode from here on out. Or maybe that does turn into survival in the later years, but the maintenance mode is a long stretch.
Also, tell me, what are the merits of a red-light facial mask? is this similar to a micro-current device or no?
I have always been super fascinated by the lives of people who are 5-10 years "ahead" of me in life stages, which I'm sure is rooted in some desire to know the future & feel a sense of control over it? ;) Somehow, I've been making a lot of friends who are about that amount younger than me lately, and I feel myself taking on that role for them, but if I had my druthers, I'd spend most of my time talking to women in their 50s right now!
I don't know what a micro-current device does, but apparently the red light ones focus on: firming skin, fading blemishes and pigmentation, and collagen production. The first friend who recommended it to me did so after I remarked on her (clearly) remarkably good skin. While not a dermatologist, she is a medical doctor, and so I felt like her recommendation seemed to feel a bit weightier, since she did all the vetting and research ahead of time?
I haven't bought one yet, but am considering the Omnilux. I'll let you know if I end up doing it!
I'm gonna do some research on this red light mask. I'm very wary of any kind of device that emits micro currents because I heard some people get teeth pain and also nerve pain! With my teeth issues and post bells palsy recovery, this is just too scary to risk, even though I've heard the benefits are great.
Oh gosh, I feel as though you've read my mind. I've started to do a little 'oof' noise when I sit down now, and the other day my son thought our stairs were creaking as I came down - the noise he heard was my knees. I've started a Couch to 5K running programme recently - not because I want to run a marathon but just because I'm increasingly aware that I need to look after this slightly creaky body of mine.
The oof noises are so funny! I mean, it just happens all of a sudden and when it does, it's all the time. I have to consciously think about not making that noise in public. And yes to the couch to 5k. That is amazing. I ran pre-kids, but had to stop because it was really bad on my back and knees :(
As I inch closer to 50, I find myself comparing my midlife experience against the mental picture of it that I grew up with. I will be the first one to admit that sunscreen, botox, nutrition science and accessible fashion have been game-changers.
By my age, my mother had been sporting the same late-80s look for two decades and would not leave the house without a head-to-toe layer of lycra under her turtleneck and slacks. She believed herself to be old because society told her she was.
Also, I debated whether I wanted to be That Guy, but... if this allover itching has been going on for months, you might consider asking your doc to run labs if she hasn't already. It can be an early sign of anemia or thyroid issues, or even (ugh) the Big C. (Ask me how I know...)
Our version of old is so much different from our mother's generation of old. It's really remarkable when I look at photos of my grandma and mom in their 50s.
My itchiness, which I had a HUGE thread on Threads, is intense for a month then goes away. And it's back, but I think it's subsiding. But I will ask at my next annual next week.
Yep. Relatable. I’m three years ahead of you and stuck at home the last few days because my back seized up before the weekend. While I was sitting on the toilet. 😏
Jenna, this newsletter made me laugh! I'm an old lady at heart and I also have a fear of all my teeth falling out and my gums receding! At each 6 month dental cleaning I hope that they will not say my mouth is full of cavities. This is possibly because I had a lot of cavities as a child and a lot of trips spent at the dentist sigh. There is a scene in the movie, "The Giant Mechanical Man" with Jenna Fischer (of The Office) and she talks about her recurring dream about her teeth falling out! They show it and IT IS TERRIFYING! Perhaps not a good watch if you also have this fear. It kept me up for a few nights haha
Yes, my fear started as a child. I have had SO MUCH dental work done, so many root canals and should have gotten braces when I was younger, but didn't, presumably because of lack of money. And oh no I am not going to watch that scene! It will give me nightmares!!!
oh I am going through some aging or menopausal tooth problems: extraction, implant, root canals all at once. I can cop to eating a ton of candy and not brushing well enough in my Gen-X youth, but this is all very unwelcome. I have not really been eating a lot of chewy food since last august, and I'm realizing "this is how old people start eating cottage cheese!" I'm hoping my mouth stabilizes, but this all happened when I turned 50 and I was like shit, okay, old age! I'll save my grey hair bs for next week haha. I think if we aren't laughing, it would so much worse right? I love that you are making a place for us to share, that is important too. I'm a smoothie master now, which is something!
Dental work is also SO SO SO expensive and insurance so inadequately covers it all. And yes! liquid and soft foods. I keep thinking about that because of my dad, who at some point had to switch to a soft food diet. I will never eat hard foods again like nuts (except for cashews) or anything that I have to struggle to bite into, which also includes most sandwiches. It gets a little silly if I'm eating out, but I don't care. I am that person eating a slice of pizza with a fork and knife.
I actually had to buy another dental insurance plan because I have so many upcoming needs. I am no longer taking chewing and food for granted, and I suppose the mystic in me is feeling like this is happening to me so that I eat better foods. I do have a weak spot for candy. Its scaring my kids straight! There are a great many soft and delicious desserts at least!
Well put, you had Dan and me laughing. We’re looking at aging farther along that timeline and what gets us is all the little things we didn’t expect! Like the fact that I used to think receding gums could’ve been prevented if they just took better care of their teeth. Hah! Lots of these surprises seem so unfair…also irrational. Change is inevitable, we all know that, but why do all those changes come from out of the blue?
I mean good hygiene DOES help with receding gums - I always tell the kids that! I might scare them a little into flossing and such with my cautionary tales of receding gum woes.
oh DEAR, first things first: I FEEL FOR YOU… however, at 77 allow me to put matters slightly into perspective… while I could write about countless ailments, the sentiment of being alive and enjoying my family (I was blessed with a grandson 2 years ago and another baby is on the way), if not the state of the world, but you learn to pay less and less attention to that! ALSO, the symptoms of menopause will subside, I promise you, although I am by no means saying other issues will not replace them 🤣… SO, the bleak news is it will only get worse, as your energy levels take a slide especially after 70, BUT I promise you that a sort of wisdom to only let what really matters bother you will take hold, your daughters will hopefully be in a less vulnerable place (mine were a constant source of worry for years), and if i had any fortune telling qualities (which I do not), I could see you being able to enjoy your retirement along with your husband. SO, hang in there, I remember my sixties as some of my best years (so far)… love, anna🍀🍀🍀 (and please do plan a trip to Vienna, I would love to show you -and your family- around.. we are only a trainride from places like Venice if you need convincing… and spread some cheer) 😂💚
Hi Anna, thanks for your wise perspective. Yes, I can already see that some ailments come and go and things get replaced by other things and it's just one thing after the other. And it's hard not to worry about your kids. This is a crazy world we're releasing them in! But thank you for the vote of confidence and you're not the only person who says that the 60s are great!
Oh my, yes. I'm also about to turn 53, also itchy all the dang time, and it's my hip, rather than my back (bursitis and arthritis combo probably). It is hard to feel the privilege in all of that sometimes. I appreciate the humor and kindness in your outlook and strive for the same.
The itchiness is so confounding. Oh, and the hip things sounds very painful! I walked 6 miles today to try and get this disc back into shape and I am now currently recovering with a heating pad!
Here’s someone they don’t tell you about food packaging; at some point in your aging process, you will not be able to twist that cap off, tear at the notch, find the sweet spot where the ziploc zippers, pull that pop-top off… open that bag of chips without resorting to using your teeth… or scissors, but then someone will have misplaced them… and you will need your teeth.
Take care of your teeth! You do not want to be that person who settles into her car after grocery shopping, staring out through the windshield and craving a swig of that ice cold Dr Pepper in a bottle with a chocolate TastyKake bell and not being able to open either without your teeth. 😁
(I know, way too specific but… 🤷♂️😳)
The food industry is trying to secretly starve old people, I’m convinced!
This is already me. Because of 20 years of computer mousing, and years of piano playing prior to that, my right wrist is very weak. I can't open a damn jar or cap that has to be twisted off.
And no, I will not be doing ANYTHING with my teeth, thank you.
More and more I'm having to ask my teenage son to open jars and bottles for me. I'm going to be buying those handy gadgets soon that they sell in home bargain stores - or just eating everything out of ring pull tins.
The last time I asked my son to open a bottle of Diet Coke for me, he took a channel lock out of his toolbelt and twisted it off… that little sh*t!! I mean, he’s 38, home for Christmas and draining my water heater so I held my tongue but we both know. 😉😁
I can't imagine having a 38 year old yet. That is a grown-ass full fledged adult! Not like my kids who are just on the edge of adulting but not really adulting.
Jenna I am sooooo appreciating how your humor is coming through stronger and stronger in these deliveries! 😂 Your perspective makes me feel well-supported in this journey of aging ♥️♥️
I think a while ago — and this is what I meant about finding my voice last week — I decided to just go with it. This is how I think, but sometimes it just doesn't come across in words, you know? I'm glad someone appreciates it! 🥰
And it absolutely shines through. I feel like we're witnessing you step into your power as a writer and I LOVE it.
honestly is there anything more comforting than a woman talking about normal aging things??? i'm nearing 40, and i'm sure you experienced it as well, but the beginning of aging is also sort of a mind-f. it's HARD to see examples of aging out there, let alone anyone actually TALKING about it. (photoshop, botox, fillers, and hair dye doesn't help this situation)
Cup of Jo recently had this little thread (https://cupofjo.com/2024/03/05/women-with-gray-hair-photos/) and it made me embrace my greys a bit more. but dang i need to go to an eye doc soon (all my loved ones tell me i squint a lot lol), and my back generally hurts, and yeah you get the point. etc etc etc. thanks for talking about a very relatable subject <3
Ohhhh, the part that I chopped off to make this newsletter shorter was all about the gray hair. Stay tuned, either next week or the one after.
I didn't realize it was this long ago, but about 7 years ago I finally went to the eye doctor because i was doing that "move things farther away from my eyes" thing to read. Didn't realize I would be getting triple progressives! Which reminds me, I need to go back to the eye doctor because things are getting awfully fuzzy again when I try to read signs from afar.
Jenna, you made me cry and laugh. Although maybe it's the perimenopause. Who knows but thanks anyway! 😅
🤗🥰 Thank you for reading Julie!
OMG, yes. I feel the same way, Julie! 😂 Thank you, Jenna. I look forward to reading this every week. 💕
❤️🥰
Oh, Jenna...once again, I HEAR YOU!! As someone who lost my mother when she was way too young, I also feel the pressure to embrace this ageing lark. I realise the absolute privilege it is but...it's just been kicking me lately! The 'thickening of mid-section' was particularly relatable this week (cue: throwing all my clothes in a pile and stomping off yesterday...) and the eyesight! I have always had great eyesight!! What the heck happened...
Also: great sketch! You can really see your form developing :)
"Aging lark" YES, that's what it is. Every week there is something new to contend with. And thank you about the sketch! I rarely get comments about my drawings (not that it's why I include them, it's so that I keep drawing and holds me accountable) so I appreciate it 🥰
So relatable -- this is like one of my favorite topics recently, which in itself seems like a sign of aging.
At 41, I feel firmly middle-aged, but in cities like LA (and maybe NYC?), it feels harder to say for sure: people my age go around looking 28, or contemplating having their first child, or non-ironically referring to themselves as "girlies." There are definitely times when I think, "maybe 41 is just like 28 but with more confidence/spending power?" Those are the good days, for sure.
On other ones though, I can feel myself settling into all the maintenance that it takes to protect, nurture, or "maintain" my aging body and appearance and freaking out about how every choice may come with a commitment to doing it or something like it FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. Exercising or dying hair for fun feels so different than the commitment to doing it as an investment for decades. And yet, I never seriously consider just stopping doing any of it either, or at least not yet.
And back to my original point, it's actually makes me feel very in community with people (specifically women) in my general age range to participate in these conversations and practices. I certainly don't want to talk to anyone about getting wasted at a concert anymore, but will happily discuss the merits of various red-light facial masks instead?
I kind of forgot you were that much younger than me. When I was 40/41 I was feeling great! I felt like I was on top of the world!
And yes, we are in maintenance mode from here on out. Or maybe that does turn into survival in the later years, but the maintenance mode is a long stretch.
Also, tell me, what are the merits of a red-light facial mask? is this similar to a micro-current device or no?
I have always been super fascinated by the lives of people who are 5-10 years "ahead" of me in life stages, which I'm sure is rooted in some desire to know the future & feel a sense of control over it? ;) Somehow, I've been making a lot of friends who are about that amount younger than me lately, and I feel myself taking on that role for them, but if I had my druthers, I'd spend most of my time talking to women in their 50s right now!
I don't know what a micro-current device does, but apparently the red light ones focus on: firming skin, fading blemishes and pigmentation, and collagen production. The first friend who recommended it to me did so after I remarked on her (clearly) remarkably good skin. While not a dermatologist, she is a medical doctor, and so I felt like her recommendation seemed to feel a bit weightier, since she did all the vetting and research ahead of time?
I haven't bought one yet, but am considering the Omnilux. I'll let you know if I end up doing it!
I'm gonna do some research on this red light mask. I'm very wary of any kind of device that emits micro currents because I heard some people get teeth pain and also nerve pain! With my teeth issues and post bells palsy recovery, this is just too scary to risk, even though I've heard the benefits are great.
Oh gosh, I feel as though you've read my mind. I've started to do a little 'oof' noise when I sit down now, and the other day my son thought our stairs were creaking as I came down - the noise he heard was my knees. I've started a Couch to 5K running programme recently - not because I want to run a marathon but just because I'm increasingly aware that I need to look after this slightly creaky body of mine.
The oof noises are so funny! I mean, it just happens all of a sudden and when it does, it's all the time. I have to consciously think about not making that noise in public. And yes to the couch to 5k. That is amazing. I ran pre-kids, but had to stop because it was really bad on my back and knees :(
Empty nest coaches. On the one hand, sigh, and on the other, NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS SHIT HELPPPPP
TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS AN HOUR!!!!
(let's hope they don't start Substacks.)
Let them. But they're not going to want to write for less than minimum wage like we are! 😭
As I inch closer to 50, I find myself comparing my midlife experience against the mental picture of it that I grew up with. I will be the first one to admit that sunscreen, botox, nutrition science and accessible fashion have been game-changers.
By my age, my mother had been sporting the same late-80s look for two decades and would not leave the house without a head-to-toe layer of lycra under her turtleneck and slacks. She believed herself to be old because society told her she was.
Also, I debated whether I wanted to be That Guy, but... if this allover itching has been going on for months, you might consider asking your doc to run labs if she hasn't already. It can be an early sign of anemia or thyroid issues, or even (ugh) the Big C. (Ask me how I know...)
Our version of old is so much different from our mother's generation of old. It's really remarkable when I look at photos of my grandma and mom in their 50s.
My itchiness, which I had a HUGE thread on Threads, is intense for a month then goes away. And it's back, but I think it's subsiding. But I will ask at my next annual next week.
Aging may be a privilege but I'm tired of adulting!!
Adulting is a whole different story!!
Facts!
Yep. Relatable. I’m three years ahead of you and stuck at home the last few days because my back seized up before the weekend. While I was sitting on the toilet. 😏
Oh no!!! I hope you find some relief!!
Jenna, this newsletter made me laugh! I'm an old lady at heart and I also have a fear of all my teeth falling out and my gums receding! At each 6 month dental cleaning I hope that they will not say my mouth is full of cavities. This is possibly because I had a lot of cavities as a child and a lot of trips spent at the dentist sigh. There is a scene in the movie, "The Giant Mechanical Man" with Jenna Fischer (of The Office) and she talks about her recurring dream about her teeth falling out! They show it and IT IS TERRIFYING! Perhaps not a good watch if you also have this fear. It kept me up for a few nights haha
Yes, my fear started as a child. I have had SO MUCH dental work done, so many root canals and should have gotten braces when I was younger, but didn't, presumably because of lack of money. And oh no I am not going to watch that scene! It will give me nightmares!!!
oh I am going through some aging or menopausal tooth problems: extraction, implant, root canals all at once. I can cop to eating a ton of candy and not brushing well enough in my Gen-X youth, but this is all very unwelcome. I have not really been eating a lot of chewy food since last august, and I'm realizing "this is how old people start eating cottage cheese!" I'm hoping my mouth stabilizes, but this all happened when I turned 50 and I was like shit, okay, old age! I'll save my grey hair bs for next week haha. I think if we aren't laughing, it would so much worse right? I love that you are making a place for us to share, that is important too. I'm a smoothie master now, which is something!
Dental work is also SO SO SO expensive and insurance so inadequately covers it all. And yes! liquid and soft foods. I keep thinking about that because of my dad, who at some point had to switch to a soft food diet. I will never eat hard foods again like nuts (except for cashews) or anything that I have to struggle to bite into, which also includes most sandwiches. It gets a little silly if I'm eating out, but I don't care. I am that person eating a slice of pizza with a fork and knife.
I actually had to buy another dental insurance plan because I have so many upcoming needs. I am no longer taking chewing and food for granted, and I suppose the mystic in me is feeling like this is happening to me so that I eat better foods. I do have a weak spot for candy. Its scaring my kids straight! There are a great many soft and delicious desserts at least!
Candy is so hard on teeth!!!
Well put, you had Dan and me laughing. We’re looking at aging farther along that timeline and what gets us is all the little things we didn’t expect! Like the fact that I used to think receding gums could’ve been prevented if they just took better care of their teeth. Hah! Lots of these surprises seem so unfair…also irrational. Change is inevitable, we all know that, but why do all those changes come from out of the blue?
I mean good hygiene DOES help with receding gums - I always tell the kids that! I might scare them a little into flossing and such with my cautionary tales of receding gum woes.
oh DEAR, first things first: I FEEL FOR YOU… however, at 77 allow me to put matters slightly into perspective… while I could write about countless ailments, the sentiment of being alive and enjoying my family (I was blessed with a grandson 2 years ago and another baby is on the way), if not the state of the world, but you learn to pay less and less attention to that! ALSO, the symptoms of menopause will subside, I promise you, although I am by no means saying other issues will not replace them 🤣… SO, the bleak news is it will only get worse, as your energy levels take a slide especially after 70, BUT I promise you that a sort of wisdom to only let what really matters bother you will take hold, your daughters will hopefully be in a less vulnerable place (mine were a constant source of worry for years), and if i had any fortune telling qualities (which I do not), I could see you being able to enjoy your retirement along with your husband. SO, hang in there, I remember my sixties as some of my best years (so far)… love, anna🍀🍀🍀 (and please do plan a trip to Vienna, I would love to show you -and your family- around.. we are only a trainride from places like Venice if you need convincing… and spread some cheer) 😂💚
Hi Anna, thanks for your wise perspective. Yes, I can already see that some ailments come and go and things get replaced by other things and it's just one thing after the other. And it's hard not to worry about your kids. This is a crazy world we're releasing them in! But thank you for the vote of confidence and you're not the only person who says that the 60s are great!
Oh my, yes. I'm also about to turn 53, also itchy all the dang time, and it's my hip, rather than my back (bursitis and arthritis combo probably). It is hard to feel the privilege in all of that sometimes. I appreciate the humor and kindness in your outlook and strive for the same.
The itchiness is so confounding. Oh, and the hip things sounds very painful! I walked 6 miles today to try and get this disc back into shape and I am now currently recovering with a heating pad!