Outgrowing friendships

Friendships post-Instagram, post-empty nest, and the liminal time that is summer.

The most liminal summer of all

A few weeks ago while walking to the library, I heard my 17 year old quietly say, “It’s weird that I’m probably never going to see some of these people ever again.” She was referring to her close high school group of friends. As a child whose sentimental personality is most like mine, I knew she was cycling through a confusing mix of emotions about her high school days ending and the reality of it all was making her sad. I could see it on her face right then.

I told her about the concept of anticipatory nostalgia and that she was prematurely mourning the loss of her friends when it hasn’t even happened yet. She is often the person who organizes and rallies everyone together—there’s always one or two like that in a friend group—and her face wore the expression of resolved acceptance that it would quietly fall apart after this summer. I pointed out that keeping in touch, if that’s what she wanted, was in her control and to stay grounded in the present with the time that she still had left with them.