Winter's wonder and a new year begins
How the year ended, how I'm approaching the new year, and a roundup of links.
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It comes in with a bass line. Then a piano melody played on the upper register. My 14 year old self is listening to U2’s New Year’s Day on January 1st. Such a literal and predictable song to listen to on New Year’s, I know, but a clear memory of that day as a teenager lying on my bed, door closed, headphones on, sound up.
I didn’t know or care if the song was political or if it was a love song written for someone in mind; I only knew that it captured how New Year’s Day feels: layers of textures, a hollow yearning, but also strangely hopeful where you feel something visceral shift inside in a way that only soundscapes can move you. The song sounded like winter.
Hello, friends. We made it to 2025.
Christmas came and went, and for someone who finds the holiday somewhat difficult, that is fine with me. In the past two years we seemed to have stumbled across a new tradition. This may sound like the antithesis to a cozy, Instagram-worthy picture of idyllic Christmas hygge-ness, but we spent Christmas afternoon at a massive all-you-can-eat Asian buffet with bright fluorescent lighting. That might turn anyone off, but it felt fitting to me as anything at this point.
We followed our usual holiday visit to the cemetery with an abundance of plates piled high, as many times as we wanted, as if we were trying to compensate for the smallness of our family with the volume of food we piled onto our plates. Back and forth, stacking rolls of sushi, choosing fishballs and ribbons of meat to dunk into our hotpots, grabbing crab legs to crack open and pork belly to grill on the table until we were too stuffed to put another bite of food in our mouths. The kids were thrilled, and that’s all that matters.
But the holiday wasn’t all a picture of gluttony. We did get our first white Christmas in 15 years. I don’t think anyone expected to wake up on Christmas Eve to snowfall because I hadn’t heard any snow chatter at all, but there it was, blanketing everything when I pulled back the bedroom curtains.
By 8:30 a.m. I was out the door for a walk.
Freshly fallen snow is a natural sound absorber. It softens the sharp edges, hushing the noise of cars and pedestrian traffic. This is one of my favorite things—getting up early to walk up to Prospect Park at first snowfall before the cars turn the pristine powder into black slush, before footprints mar the snow’s stillness, before the neighbors walk out of their brownstones with shovels to clear a path on the sidewalk.
But the city isn’t awake quite yet because it’s Christmas Eve and the lucky ones who have this day off move slow because they have nowhere they need to be. The dog walkers, however, are reliable like postal workers who trudge through all kinds of weather to deliver our mail. I love watching the dogs frolic in the snow because it’s pure happiness.
For an hour in the park, the world was still. By the time I walked back, the neighborhood was awake. I walked by New Yorkers with their shovels clearing paths in front of their brownstones and shop doors, past kids dragging their sleds behind them headed towards the park. This surprise snowfall was my favorite part of Christmas this year, like a gift. A reminder to enjoy the pockets of stillness in what will surely be a wild new year.
Twenty four hours later, the snow had melted away. By weekend, the weather was a balmy 56 degrees and all the dudes who can’t wait to put on shorts as soon as the temps rise above fifty were out, calves bare. I even saw someone walk by in sandals.
The weather doesn’t make any more sense than anything else happening in the world. I feel like a broken record because I’m pretty sure I said the exact same thing last January. But this is a new year and if we’re still trying to figure out how we’re going to get through the next couple of years, I’m making a plea to take the small wins and pleasures as they come.
I’ve come to realize that I don’t have enough self control to ignore the news. I know a well-touted strategy to survive the next presidency is to not give it any time and energy, but I feel unsettled not knowing what’s going on. Even with self-preservation at stake, I need to let in just enough so I can process it all without landing in a state of fear and rage. Just enough to watch the infighting between the billionaire tech bros and the MAGA Republicans over immigration, H1-Bs, and whatever “America first” means. Just enough to see the first rumblings of buyer’s remorse when promises of lower grocery prices are being walked back.
Maybe I’m being petty and a little too smug in enjoying this very public MAGA civil war, but I’m allowing myself that indulgence just so I can distract myself away from my anxiety over what this administration has plans for our healthcare and social services. Because securing—and keeping—health insurance has always been my albatross.
Affordable healthcare is the real American Dream.
I’m approaching the year trying to find a few news sources that I trust. So far, that includes non-profit investigative journalism from the likes of ProPublica. It also includes independent journalists like Joyce Vance and Margaret Sullivan. I’ve donated to Mother Jones and Wikipedia, who is coming under fire from THAT billionaire who inexplicably is wielding too much power and influence over THAT guy. I’m approaching this year trying to educate myself as much as possible. With that, comes a hint of optimism that I’m leaning on to carry me forward.
I also want to take a moment to thank you for reading and supporting my work. Writing this newsletter has grounded me emotionally, creatively, and even financially, in a way that I could have never imagined. You made that possible.
This morning, I listened to New Year’s Day for the first time in…I don’t know how long. It took me back to my 14 year old self, headphones on, sound turned up. The yearning I felt listening to the song was still there. Maybe that yearning is hope.
Related reading
A roundup of things I enjoyed this week
A movie to catch on the big screen:
Flow – If this animated masterpiece of a movie from Latvia comes to theaters where you live, please go see it. I don’t go to the movies often, but Flow deserves to be seen on the big screen, partly because the film features no dialogue but instead relies on sound design to tell the story of this unlikely band of animals navigating a post-apocalyptic human-less world. It is epically beautiful, riveting, and will stay with you long after you leave the theater.
To buy and consume:
Raspberry Macaron Cacao Truffles – If you have a Muji store near you, then I recommend these chocolate truffles—or you can have them shipped with the rest of your Muji goodies. We were gifted a lot of chocolate this year, but these bags of $6.90 truffles in various flavors were among our favorites. I don’t think I have ever used the word “refreshing” to describe a bite of chocolate, but weirdly, this is the word that comes to mind.
What I read this week:
The Best Photos of 2024: The State of America (anothermag)
A selection of provocative photo essays on American life from AnOther mag.
“There are journeys into the hidden archives of government organisations, Polaroids taken in women’s prisons, and vital portraits of Black life during the 1960s. There are surreal visions of modern suburbia, lavish portrayals of East Coast wealth and heartwarming portrayals of teenagers coming of age.”Why futurist Amy Webb sees a “technology supercycle” headed our way (Big Think) “[Amy Webb] predicts that we are on the cusp of a ‘technology supercycle,’ in which advances in three complementary and increasingly interconnected fields of research—AI, biotech, and smart sensors—will transform our economy and society to a similar extent as the wheel and the steam engine.”
I do agree that we can’t ignore inevitable change—big change. I appreciate Webb’s optimism that this cyclical period of big innovation can restore “a long-lost sense of togetherness” rather than the typical dystopian view of our future. Case in point, this 👇Facebook and Instagram to unleash AI-generated “users’ no one asked for (Rolling Stone)
🤦🏻♀️ I’ve already expressed my opinion on Threads. I mean, if this is the end game, maybe this is the tipping point that pushes us all to leave so that the IA bots can duke out the algorithms themselves.
Another thing to watch (if you’re up to it):
The Failure, Fear, and Frenzy around Luigi Mangione (YouTube)
You may not be interested in a comedian’s take on the UHC CEO’s murder. You may find it even offensive to make jokes about it. But Josh Johnson’s nearly one hour monologue is part cultural essay on humanity and part brilliant storytelling that makes you think. The comments are also a societal reflection of where we are. I watched it twice.
"For the CEOs, it was the first time they saw, that we see them the way they see us."
To make and eat:
Cinnamon stars (or Zimtsterne) – Mark made these almond-based German Christmas cookies for the first time and they were such a delightful addition to our holiday cookies. They taste like gently spiced cozy winters.
Till next time.
–JP
This is great and I'll definitely quote you: "Affordable healthcare is the real American Dream." Happy New Year!
Late to the party, but Happy New Year!
Fun little factoid that many may not know about the beautiful movie Flow: all the animal sounds were sourced from the actual animal except for the capybara. Apparently the capybara noises were too high screeched, so they "subbed" their sounds. Hahaha!