What we lose when everything is mapped. Plus ten things to do offline.
We don’t get lost anymore.
Last Saturday, while standing at the corner of Amsterdam and 70th on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, a man in a pink t-shirt stops in front of us as Mark is searching for something on his phone.
He asks, “do you need help with directions?”
“No, we’re actually looking for a good coffee spot,” Mark answers.
“Oh, there’s a really great place on 73rd and Columbus.” He enthusiastically gives us a recommendation to a cafe a few blocks north. “Where are you guys from?”
“Brooklyn.”
We exchange a little laugh.
I wondered what about us in that moment made him think we were tourists rather than New Yorkers. Could have been my camera. Or maybe he picked up on how I sometimes feel like a fish out of water in a neighborhood like the Upper West Side. I’m rarely up here. It’s a neighborhood not so different from my own in Brooklyn, yet somehow, that makes it feel even more “off,” like some bizarro world alternate version of home.
Our passing conversation underscored how neighborhoods here can feel provincial. As big a city as New York is, it’s easy to be defined by the micro-geographic communities of our neighborhoods and boroughs. New York is truly a city of villages.
We sat in the coffee shop that our fellow New Yorker had recommended and people watched. It made me think how quick we are to pull out our phones every time we’re looking for directions or places to go. Afterwards, we wandered around the neighborhood like the tourists we were mistaken for and on the subway ride home, vowed to keep exploring different neighborhoods without relying on our phones.
When was the last time you looked at a paper map? You know, the kind that is impossible to refold back into its most compact form? Or wandered into a restaurant without checking reviews just because it looked inviting through the window? It’s like buying a book at the book store just because a beautiful cover drew you in, but when was the last time you even did that?
In a sea of reviews and a GPS-navigable world, we’ve lost any intolerance for mediocrity and disappointment. We want the shortest route and the best experiences, and we want it mapped out for us even before we step out the door. Don’t get me wrong—I have a fear of getting lost, actually. I also have a poor sense of direction, so I live and die by phone-based GPS systems. You’ll often see me whip out my phone like a compass to reorient myself as soon as I emerge from the subterranean tunnels of the subway.
At the same time, my navigation and wayfinding skills have suffered because I rely on my phone too much. So many skills that we used to continually hone but no longer need. Mental mapping. Spatial ability. Learning to orient yourself by looking at the stars. Now we just follow directions and trust technology to steer us forward. Celestial navigation might save you one day if you still remember how. Maybe these are the skills we should be teaching our kids when the data centers burn down.
So this isn’t so much about getting lost, per se, because I know that isn’t really fun, but isn’t it kind of sad that we don’t trust our own internal sense of direction anymore because we no longer need to? Or that we readily subscribe to herd behavior as soon as we see a five star rating?
Social validation is the most valuable currency. The long lines that you see at that bagel shop doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s better than the bagel shop two blocks over; it just means that a marketing person is better at their job. We’re too influenced and unwilling to take little risks without seeking validation first.
We have a running joke about “hidden gems” in our family because it’s so overused in blog posts and travel vlogs. Everything’s a hidden gem, except that it really isn’t yours unless you stumble upon it yourself; they need to be earned.
So many aspects of modern internet life curb exploration. Our curiosity is continually siphoned away from us. The unexpected detours and the scenic routes. I miss spontaneity. I miss wanderings and misadventures that lead to serendipity.
We always know where we are.
——
I had this sudden thought over the weekend that I was letting too much doom creep into my writing lately. I’ll admit that I’ve been consumed by anxiety over current news, but how could you not be? Our government is shutdown with no end in sight. There are massive layoffs in every industry. Americans are going hungry, and many are learning that their health insurance premiums have doubled, tripled, or worse. Things feel really bad, but the past week in New York have been a joy, starting with Halloween festivities to the NYC marathon to last night’s elections.
Resisting the doomscroll is a constant struggle, but in the spirit of a little levity, here are 10 things I did last week instead:
Took a rambling walk in Prospect Park with a friend and afterwards, visited two new stationery stores in my neighborhood. It’s peak fall in NYC and the foliage this year is absolutely glorious.
Attended a workshop for artist, Tamiko Kawata, and assembled safety pin chains for her upcoming exhibition. A bonus for me was that the workshop was held in the same building where my last office was. Those iconic old windows always get me right in my feelings.
Stopped by a random art gallery in Chelsea while doing an errand because I was drawn in by the colors and shapes of these paintings by Fran Shalom.
Went trick or treating with my cousins’ young kids. My neighborhood is trick-or-treating paradise where people from all over come in and this year felt a little more lively and raucous than usual. I think we all needed a night of release.
Doodled on dark navy paper and drew in my sketchbook.
Finished a book and started another. I have finally found my groove with reading books more consistently. More on that later.
Took a stroll through Central Park because we can’t get enough of this crisp Fall weather.
Watched the NYC Marathon which runs right past my apartment. The energy in the city during marathon Sunday is a joy. The entire city is one big party.
Voted early in my local election. Maybe you’ve heard that we’ve elected a new mayor in NYC!!
Went to a birthday/pre-election day party. I’m not one for parties much these days. My tired, middle aged self has become really sensitive to ambient noise levels and crowds, so please clap.
Related reading
A roundup of links
To read:
What We Lost When Condé Nast Unceremoniously Shuttered Teen Vogue (TPM)
The former political director at Teen Vogue, Allegra Kirkland, speaks out. This is really disappointing, but perhaps not all too surprising. For the last several years, the political reporting at Teen Vogue has offered some of the most honest and nuanced reporting in journalism anywhere. To lay off the entire political reporting staff under the merge with Vogue is a deliberate statement.Gray Hair Might Be The Body's Way of Avoiding a Deadly Cancer (Science Alert)
If this is true, as touted by researchers in Japan, I have a lot of cancer-fighting grays on my side.Mark Zuckerberg Visibly Upset When Billie Eilish Calls Out Greed of Billionaires (Futurism)
If you haven’t heard, Billie Eilish recently donated a little more than 20% of her entire net worth (roughly $11.5 million) to “support organizations, projects and voices dedicated to food equity, climate justice, reducing carbon pollution and combating the climate crisis.”
At just 23, she is a role model, and from the video she seemed a little nervous to call them out but she did it anyway. And really, why aren’t we all calling out the greediness of billionaires?Looking at art reduces stress, according to U.K. scientific study (Artsy)
“From a scientific perspective, the most exciting outtake is that art had a positive impact on three different body systems—the immune, endocrine, and autonomic systems—at the same time,” Dr. Tony Woods, researcher at King’s College London, said in a statement.
You heard the doctor. Go see art!Gen X women don’t have the bandwidth to figure out why they feel so terrible (Salon)
I’ve long said that everything is a perimenopause symptom, and now that I’m on the other side in full menopause, I can now say that everything is STILL a menopause symptom. It hasn’t gotten better, friends.Literature Is Not a Vibe: On ChatGPT and the Humanities (LA Review of Books)
It’s alarming that academia is even threatened by AI, but here we are. We keep hearing of redundancy and program cuts across institutions. What’s the end game when we start replacing humans and creativity with formulaic vibes?
To make and eat:
Arugula and Persimmon Salad (Dishing Out Health)
Persimmons will always remind me of my dad. He grew two persimmon trees, Fuyu and Hachiya, in his yard (persimmon trees aren’t a common sight in suburban New York, FYI). These days, I have to buy my own persimmons and saw my first sighting of them at the store. Picked up a few Fuyu varieties because they are surprisingly delicious in salads. Give it a try.
Til next time (and with a little more hope this morning),
JP
This dovetails with my concerns about the general enthusiasm toward outsourcing all our thinking to AI. Being lost and working through it, whether that's spatially or intellectually, is what being human is about. Problem solving. Thinking. Honing your instincts for crowd behaviour and place to figure out where to go, where to eat. I can't speak for everyone but I love a mediocre diner. I do not need to five-star my whole way through travel. Sometimes I just want to sit in some offbeat place and absorb the local vibe. Sometimes I want to stumble upon the back door of a Roman cookie factory and buy a big bag of mixed amaretto cookies from the workers, who were tickled that this weird lost Canadian would even try to speak (terrible, halting) Italian. I would probably never have that experience these days; this was in 2001.
This post’s peek into regular life feels so grounding to me, as a reminder of the walks and things seen and tasted…it reminds me of why social used to make me feel connected to real people instead of isolated in my thoughts. Also the windows 🥹