Yesssss. I only just realized this while writing this newsletter this week. I looked up from my computer and stared at the wall for a minute to process it. 😂
Having an immigrant up-bringing myself, I never had apple cider donuts, or apple cider! or apple pie so I definitely relate to you on that. Interesting to hear about how you don't pine for your own childhood but for the kids'. I just finished writing my next essay based on going to a Turkish bath in Istanbul, which conjured up memories of childhood and it got me thinking about why we pine for that season, they're just so many moments of comfort we have in that time. Reading your post encourages me to be very present in my current kids' phase of life - and yes that does mean apple cider donuts!
Oh definitely be present and enjoy all these moments with your kids. Who knew fall could be so much fun?! I do have some memories of fall as a kid but it was mostly kicking around leaves and Halloween. Looking forward to reading your next essay!
I was just thinking the same thing about the dullness of the foliage this year! I too miss the days when IG had flatlays and cozy knit blankets against the fire. I was definitely one to contribute those types of pictures haha. I think I just miss the slower days of social media - I walked away a while ago too. Now we're getting Christmas magazines in September before the fall foliage even starts, it's all too much.
P.S. I don't miss the days of apple or pumpkin picking though. It was always so hot when trying to dress up in those cute plaid shirts and boots 😆
“ That wholesome American experience wasn’t my American experience, so when I had children I dove in with an enthusiastic desire to experience it all: the apple cider donuts, the corn mazes, the yearly visits to pumpkin patches and apple orchards—all of it to give my kids a baseline of childhood memories”.
Same. Maybe it’s the time we grew up in? Fall wasn’t a “thing” we did all this stuff for when I was younger. But I’m with you, I did and still do the pumpkin patch and various autumnal activities with my kids. Being in Southern California, it may or may not be 85 degrees the day you make it to the pumpkin patch 😄
Can confirm the foliage in New England is kind of sad this year — more earth tones than reds and oranges and golds. About a third of the trees have turned, a third are still green because it's been so warm, and on the last third the leaves have just dried up and fallen off early because it's been so dry. Still, drove up into Central VT with my mom last weekend and the contrast of the still-green conifers with the turned deciduous trees is still beautiful, if somewhat somber and muted this year.
I think this will be the norm. More brown than red. I was kinda surprised visiting the kid down in PA last Fall in what I thought would be peak foliage and it was so brown with some golds. Hardly any orange or red trees. When writing this essay I looked back at my photos this time of year and the colors were so vibrant up in New England. Curious what we’ll get here in NY this year. The weather is finally cooler, maybe that will jumpstart the colors?
All that fall was to me growing in California was back to school season, which had its own excitement. But the season really exploded with joy after moving to the East Coast! I’m struck by how much seasonality is anchored by commercialization. It’s not upsetting to me as I feel like there are plenty of worse, false things to commercialize—at least nature (as we knew it once?) is real.
Oh yeah, the distinct seasons really anchor so much of life here in the NE. Even though the NW has seasons, when I moved there years ago, it was still noticeable how different the seasonal cultures were.
I think my reaction to the commodification of the season is really just a macro reaction to how we live in an overly consumerist society. Maybe part of the life stage I'm in too. I seem to reacting to the whole idea of wanting to get rid of "stuff" from our lives.
I'm feeling the nostalgia about my kid's childhood too, because of filling out college apps. Every event we do this year has the "last one with oldest child" vibe to it. We're all trying to make sense of that.
Yep, I remember that. It wasn't too long ago. The newsletter I linked to this week was exactly about that. I hope college apps are going well. It can all be so stressful.
I mean, yeah, I'm stressed, not sure about her! I think I have to get over what I wanted her to do vs what is actually happening. I had my time! I did it! So far, we are on track.
It is stressful. And then when all the apps are in, something remarkable happens and it really does leave your mind for awhile, until about March when the decisions come in. It sure can test you relationship with your kid! And also strengthen it. If you ever need someone to vent to, holler!
The change of seasons is even more muted here in the San Francisco Bay Area, but I've seen more and more in recent years of temperatures suddenly dropping from summer to our "winter" levels in a matter of days. I have to pull out thicker pajamas and jackets in a hurry, and if I'm feeling the sudden change here in my little corner of California, I can only imagine what the turn of the seasons must be like in Brooklyn.
I've also noticed the increasing push of fall marketing - just the other day I was thinking "what's the point of fall drinks and clothes when fall is only a month long now at best?" You make a great point about nostalgia, though, and I may be guilty of wanting to take my little baby to the pumpkin patch for a quick photo because I never got to experience it myself. Our minds work in funny, contradictory ways. Appreciate you sharing your perspective as always.
Take your baby to the pumpkin patch! No guilt allowed! Now that my kids are in college, we do less of all that stuff. Funny how we had our yearly list of must-do Fall activities like apple picking and now I'm not even motivated to buy some pumpkins for the house!
I moved from the East coast to Texas and I have nostalgia for fall in that there are farmers markets, cooler weather meant fires in the fireplace, stacking wood, and my wool sweaters became the norm. In Texas it means back to school, football games of high school, college and professional football. Leaves don't change here because lack of water and we are in a serious drought. Half the state experiences severe drought the other half extreme flooding and rains. It really is a unique state. Everything is brown and I am hoping for fall rains for a variety of reasons.
While I appreciate where I live and the nuances, I do miss the East coast in the autumn. On the slightly sour note, because the economy is so bad I am already seeing Xmas stuff in all the stores. Halloween and thanksgiving is secondary these days. I think Christmas this year will be the year of less because of government shutdowns, layoffs, the economy, and the realization of capitalism running and ruining many of the ideas we hold dear. Not all capitalism is bad, there has to be a level where everyone participates and gives and gets, this is not happening anymore. We are soon, going to hit a stalemate where only what is needed is bought. I see a lot of no presents for adults, and lots of kids and teens will have scaled back Christmases. If you can help please do so. I mean really do you need another candle.
We as humans on this earth grow and change. It is part of our lifecycle. We have lots of input and we get a lot from our environment both good and bad. We learn from our mistakes, failures of ourselves and others, we learn how to be independent, self-sufficient, work with what we have. Lots of time we think of success as the "big house, the big car, fancy clothes, and abundance of everything." We will learn this year and in the coming years of scaling back, buying what is needed and scrimping. We will adapt and that's what I want to say about the environment.
No one know definitely about our climate. There are all kinds of reasons, records that leave out important events (severe snow storms, droughts, fires, famine, etc) there is also bias in studies. Who pays for the study, who verifies information, trust, honesty, integrity and yes capitalism all in the mix. There are more people on earth and we are using a variety of resources to feed, cloth and get us places. There is no way we can use a single resource for the whole world. Maybe solar, but there are pluses and minuses to everything. We can't all eat the same thing, warm ourselves with the same fuel, use only animal fibers and cotton for clothes. There are always tradeoffs and we have to think in a different way from how we have been brought up, our use of raw materials, and mutual goals for family, friends, communities and the world. We all don't want the same things and there lies the conundrum. We do the best we can with iffy information. If the data is corrupt, intentionally we have a hard time making good decisions.So we make the best decision based on the information at hand.
I am older than you,66. Back in high school we were taught the earth was getting colder and that we would have another ice age. I remember is wearing coats in class because the heating system didn't work. Then there was the time when it was so cold the buses to school had frozen and our parents had to drive us to school. So what I am saying is that no one really knows what is going on, what tomorrow will bring, or even the price of anything.
Just hold on, say prayers if you are so inclined, develop a community of friends and family, share with others and be kind. That's all I got.
Yes, some of the other comments from readers in California were saying that Fall just usually meant back to school. There really is no place like the East Coast for Fall.
It's true that nobody really knows what will happen in the future regarding the climate, but we do have data and evidence and none of it is encouraging.
I agree that this year, the holiday season will be tough for many. I don't see an end a sight to this government shutdown and tariffs are already making prices go up. I really can't believe how expensive things are. It's unsustainable, especially as wages are largely stagnant for most working Americans.
As you say, community and hope, friends and family, kindness! Hold on to it because yes, it's all we've got.
So timely, as this is the first year when we've decided to not go to our big area farm for its fall festival, because I think my kids have aged out of it at 10 and 14. We'll still get pumpkins at the local patch and decorate them, but the time of structuring a whole weekend around "Fall Fun" has definitely ended for us.
Simultaneously, I am now realizing that when I did that 2023 New England fall foliage road trip... maybe that was something that I won't ever be able recreate as well. It was early October and glorious: crisp air and the trees were bursting with color. It didn't hurt that we literally stopped anywhere on the road that displayed the words apple, maple, or pumpkin.
I'm always lying to myself when I have a great experience that maybe I'll come back and do it again, because it makes it easier to say goodbye. But how stark to think about the door possibly closing forever!
Awww, I remember those moments when I realized the kids aged out of some of the activities that we used to faithfully do every season.
New England in the Fall is so spectacular - and fun! Love pulling over to all the farm stands. The colors this year are definitely less vibrant, I've heard. Curious to see what foliage we'll get in NYC. We're still weeks away!
I love this. As someone who's name is "Where There Are Octobers" inspired by Anne Shirley's overzealous love for fall, I sometimes feel the need get all I can from the season before it so quickly disappears. It's not even my favorite season! Spring is, lol. But there's something about fall that I can't let go of. I grew up in Florida, where we hardly had seasons at all, but now I live in New York, and the city really is unmatched in the fall. But I feel what you feel---that through capitalism and climate change, fall is slowly disappearing. I'm still on a journey to find little "Octobers" in every season.
I love your username! And yes, NYC in the fall is something else! The energy that leads up to the holidays is so fun. I love the journey you are on. Little Octobers - it's my favorite month.
Autumn or Fall has always been my favorite season, for someone coming from a no-season country. My first experience of it was autumn in Japan—lush leaves of yellow, orange, and red hues surrounded me!! Totally smitten. I can't tell for sure if the leaves are turning slower this season, but I've already taken conscious effort to revel at a few of the trees that've fully turned. I notice only a few specific types of tree leaves would turn red—we will have to hunt for them.
I wonder why, too. I bought a pair of new jeans; am I also a victim of consumerism?
Maybe we're conditioned on "back to school" shopping. That's the only way I can explain the change in desire to window shop and spend. It's ok. We deserve some nice new things!
Ah yes, very western centric of me, sorry! Maybe there is some other collective cosmic force at play. Or we’re all just falling for marketing 😄. But it could also stir up a lot of memories, which was the point of this essay. Seasonal rituals and memories have such a strong hold on us.
Beautiful. I love how you address climate change here- thinking through the many implications in a way that feels very nuanced and also very calm somehow, even though I know you feel the deep sadness that I do (just across the river jn Chelsea where it is of course also way too green and warm late into October).
Wow, that line about feeling nostalgic not for your childhood but for your kids’ really hit me! Really feeling that one right now!
Yesssss. I only just realized this while writing this newsletter this week. I looked up from my computer and stared at the wall for a minute to process it. 😂
Having an immigrant up-bringing myself, I never had apple cider donuts, or apple cider! or apple pie so I definitely relate to you on that. Interesting to hear about how you don't pine for your own childhood but for the kids'. I just finished writing my next essay based on going to a Turkish bath in Istanbul, which conjured up memories of childhood and it got me thinking about why we pine for that season, they're just so many moments of comfort we have in that time. Reading your post encourages me to be very present in my current kids' phase of life - and yes that does mean apple cider donuts!
Oh definitely be present and enjoy all these moments with your kids. Who knew fall could be so much fun?! I do have some memories of fall as a kid but it was mostly kicking around leaves and Halloween. Looking forward to reading your next essay!
Do you read my stuff Jenna?! Sincerely, a fan.
I have read your newsletters, yeah!
Very cool thanks Jenna! I always get excited when I see your name pop up in Substack.
I was just thinking the same thing about the dullness of the foliage this year! I too miss the days when IG had flatlays and cozy knit blankets against the fire. I was definitely one to contribute those types of pictures haha. I think I just miss the slower days of social media - I walked away a while ago too. Now we're getting Christmas magazines in September before the fall foliage even starts, it's all too much.
P.S. I don't miss the days of apple or pumpkin picking though. It was always so hot when trying to dress up in those cute plaid shirts and boots 😆
Haha that is so true. We were so excited about fall and then we’d go to the orchards and it would be so hot!
“ That wholesome American experience wasn’t my American experience, so when I had children I dove in with an enthusiastic desire to experience it all: the apple cider donuts, the corn mazes, the yearly visits to pumpkin patches and apple orchards—all of it to give my kids a baseline of childhood memories”.
Same. Maybe it’s the time we grew up in? Fall wasn’t a “thing” we did all this stuff for when I was younger. But I’m with you, I did and still do the pumpkin patch and various autumnal activities with my kids. Being in Southern California, it may or may not be 85 degrees the day you make it to the pumpkin patch 😄
Can confirm the foliage in New England is kind of sad this year — more earth tones than reds and oranges and golds. About a third of the trees have turned, a third are still green because it's been so warm, and on the last third the leaves have just dried up and fallen off early because it's been so dry. Still, drove up into Central VT with my mom last weekend and the contrast of the still-green conifers with the turned deciduous trees is still beautiful, if somewhat somber and muted this year.
I think this will be the norm. More brown than red. I was kinda surprised visiting the kid down in PA last Fall in what I thought would be peak foliage and it was so brown with some golds. Hardly any orange or red trees. When writing this essay I looked back at my photos this time of year and the colors were so vibrant up in New England. Curious what we’ll get here in NY this year. The weather is finally cooler, maybe that will jumpstart the colors?
All that fall was to me growing in California was back to school season, which had its own excitement. But the season really exploded with joy after moving to the East Coast! I’m struck by how much seasonality is anchored by commercialization. It’s not upsetting to me as I feel like there are plenty of worse, false things to commercialize—at least nature (as we knew it once?) is real.
Oh yeah, the distinct seasons really anchor so much of life here in the NE. Even though the NW has seasons, when I moved there years ago, it was still noticeable how different the seasonal cultures were.
I think my reaction to the commodification of the season is really just a macro reaction to how we live in an overly consumerist society. Maybe part of the life stage I'm in too. I seem to reacting to the whole idea of wanting to get rid of "stuff" from our lives.
I'm feeling the nostalgia about my kid's childhood too, because of filling out college apps. Every event we do this year has the "last one with oldest child" vibe to it. We're all trying to make sense of that.
Yep, I remember that. It wasn't too long ago. The newsletter I linked to this week was exactly about that. I hope college apps are going well. It can all be so stressful.
I mean, yeah, I'm stressed, not sure about her! I think I have to get over what I wanted her to do vs what is actually happening. I had my time! I did it! So far, we are on track.
It is stressful. And then when all the apps are in, something remarkable happens and it really does leave your mind for awhile, until about March when the decisions come in. It sure can test you relationship with your kid! And also strengthen it. If you ever need someone to vent to, holler!
The change of seasons is even more muted here in the San Francisco Bay Area, but I've seen more and more in recent years of temperatures suddenly dropping from summer to our "winter" levels in a matter of days. I have to pull out thicker pajamas and jackets in a hurry, and if I'm feeling the sudden change here in my little corner of California, I can only imagine what the turn of the seasons must be like in Brooklyn.
I've also noticed the increasing push of fall marketing - just the other day I was thinking "what's the point of fall drinks and clothes when fall is only a month long now at best?" You make a great point about nostalgia, though, and I may be guilty of wanting to take my little baby to the pumpkin patch for a quick photo because I never got to experience it myself. Our minds work in funny, contradictory ways. Appreciate you sharing your perspective as always.
Take your baby to the pumpkin patch! No guilt allowed! Now that my kids are in college, we do less of all that stuff. Funny how we had our yearly list of must-do Fall activities like apple picking and now I'm not even motivated to buy some pumpkins for the house!
A couple of things.
I moved from the East coast to Texas and I have nostalgia for fall in that there are farmers markets, cooler weather meant fires in the fireplace, stacking wood, and my wool sweaters became the norm. In Texas it means back to school, football games of high school, college and professional football. Leaves don't change here because lack of water and we are in a serious drought. Half the state experiences severe drought the other half extreme flooding and rains. It really is a unique state. Everything is brown and I am hoping for fall rains for a variety of reasons.
While I appreciate where I live and the nuances, I do miss the East coast in the autumn. On the slightly sour note, because the economy is so bad I am already seeing Xmas stuff in all the stores. Halloween and thanksgiving is secondary these days. I think Christmas this year will be the year of less because of government shutdowns, layoffs, the economy, and the realization of capitalism running and ruining many of the ideas we hold dear. Not all capitalism is bad, there has to be a level where everyone participates and gives and gets, this is not happening anymore. We are soon, going to hit a stalemate where only what is needed is bought. I see a lot of no presents for adults, and lots of kids and teens will have scaled back Christmases. If you can help please do so. I mean really do you need another candle.
We as humans on this earth grow and change. It is part of our lifecycle. We have lots of input and we get a lot from our environment both good and bad. We learn from our mistakes, failures of ourselves and others, we learn how to be independent, self-sufficient, work with what we have. Lots of time we think of success as the "big house, the big car, fancy clothes, and abundance of everything." We will learn this year and in the coming years of scaling back, buying what is needed and scrimping. We will adapt and that's what I want to say about the environment.
No one know definitely about our climate. There are all kinds of reasons, records that leave out important events (severe snow storms, droughts, fires, famine, etc) there is also bias in studies. Who pays for the study, who verifies information, trust, honesty, integrity and yes capitalism all in the mix. There are more people on earth and we are using a variety of resources to feed, cloth and get us places. There is no way we can use a single resource for the whole world. Maybe solar, but there are pluses and minuses to everything. We can't all eat the same thing, warm ourselves with the same fuel, use only animal fibers and cotton for clothes. There are always tradeoffs and we have to think in a different way from how we have been brought up, our use of raw materials, and mutual goals for family, friends, communities and the world. We all don't want the same things and there lies the conundrum. We do the best we can with iffy information. If the data is corrupt, intentionally we have a hard time making good decisions.So we make the best decision based on the information at hand.
I am older than you,66. Back in high school we were taught the earth was getting colder and that we would have another ice age. I remember is wearing coats in class because the heating system didn't work. Then there was the time when it was so cold the buses to school had frozen and our parents had to drive us to school. So what I am saying is that no one really knows what is going on, what tomorrow will bring, or even the price of anything.
Just hold on, say prayers if you are so inclined, develop a community of friends and family, share with others and be kind. That's all I got.
Yes, some of the other comments from readers in California were saying that Fall just usually meant back to school. There really is no place like the East Coast for Fall.
It's true that nobody really knows what will happen in the future regarding the climate, but we do have data and evidence and none of it is encouraging.
I agree that this year, the holiday season will be tough for many. I don't see an end a sight to this government shutdown and tariffs are already making prices go up. I really can't believe how expensive things are. It's unsustainable, especially as wages are largely stagnant for most working Americans.
As you say, community and hope, friends and family, kindness! Hold on to it because yes, it's all we've got.
So timely, as this is the first year when we've decided to not go to our big area farm for its fall festival, because I think my kids have aged out of it at 10 and 14. We'll still get pumpkins at the local patch and decorate them, but the time of structuring a whole weekend around "Fall Fun" has definitely ended for us.
Simultaneously, I am now realizing that when I did that 2023 New England fall foliage road trip... maybe that was something that I won't ever be able recreate as well. It was early October and glorious: crisp air and the trees were bursting with color. It didn't hurt that we literally stopped anywhere on the road that displayed the words apple, maple, or pumpkin.
I'm always lying to myself when I have a great experience that maybe I'll come back and do it again, because it makes it easier to say goodbye. But how stark to think about the door possibly closing forever!
Awww, I remember those moments when I realized the kids aged out of some of the activities that we used to faithfully do every season.
New England in the Fall is so spectacular - and fun! Love pulling over to all the farm stands. The colors this year are definitely less vibrant, I've heard. Curious to see what foliage we'll get in NYC. We're still weeks away!
I love this. As someone who's name is "Where There Are Octobers" inspired by Anne Shirley's overzealous love for fall, I sometimes feel the need get all I can from the season before it so quickly disappears. It's not even my favorite season! Spring is, lol. But there's something about fall that I can't let go of. I grew up in Florida, where we hardly had seasons at all, but now I live in New York, and the city really is unmatched in the fall. But I feel what you feel---that through capitalism and climate change, fall is slowly disappearing. I'm still on a journey to find little "Octobers" in every season.
I love your username! And yes, NYC in the fall is something else! The energy that leads up to the holidays is so fun. I love the journey you are on. Little Octobers - it's my favorite month.
Autumn or Fall has always been my favorite season, for someone coming from a no-season country. My first experience of it was autumn in Japan—lush leaves of yellow, orange, and red hues surrounded me!! Totally smitten. I can't tell for sure if the leaves are turning slower this season, but I've already taken conscious effort to revel at a few of the trees that've fully turned. I notice only a few specific types of tree leaves would turn red—we will have to hunt for them.
I wonder why, too. I bought a pair of new jeans; am I also a victim of consumerism?
Maybe we're conditioned on "back to school" shopping. That's the only way I can explain the change in desire to window shop and spend. It's ok. We deserve some nice new things!
But my son just started school! And in Malaysia, school begins in January. It might be that the whole vibe here swept me along …
Ah yes, very western centric of me, sorry! Maybe there is some other collective cosmic force at play. Or we’re all just falling for marketing 😄. But it could also stir up a lot of memories, which was the point of this essay. Seasonal rituals and memories have such a strong hold on us.
You're just as in your world as I was in mine—though it changed a while ago.
Yes, I agree with you, seasons and rituals, the cycle of the year, festivals and events.. they are our memories :)
Thank you for articulating something that has been brewing around in my head for a while....
Thank you so much, Mara, for reading.
Beautiful. I love how you address climate change here- thinking through the many implications in a way that feels very nuanced and also very calm somehow, even though I know you feel the deep sadness that I do (just across the river jn Chelsea where it is of course also way too green and warm late into October).
Thank you! Appreciate the comment and the read.