Rage and joy can exist at the same time

Fall bliss and the anxieties of an election.

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I love the burgeoning promise of spring and the lushness of summer greens, but I love the embers of autumn even more. It has me hunting for color studies on my walks every day—leaves that get swept aside, lining the curbs with ribbons of yellow; fiery treetops against cloudless blue; the jewel of a single crimson Japanese maple nestled among the brittle brown Oaks. I take it all in.

October in NYC. This is it. My favorite time of year. When the city measures up to what you see in movies, a fabricated Hollywood mirage of autumnal fairytales. Just like in Spring, the trees tell a story, each on its own timeline as they succumb, one by one, towards the stillness of winter. And now that the kids have flown, October is their first return home.

I walk out my door to crisp weather and feel the energy shift. New Yorkers are smiling. The oppressive heat and humidity from the summer, which lingers well into September, lifts and suddenly people seem kinder, more patient, less disgruntled. I feel energized.

This is the paradox of a season that shows us the first signs of decay and dormancy. We learn that there’s beauty in impermanence.

I am taking extra care to enjoy it this fall—all the magic, all the abundance at the markets, the colors, the textures, the smells and flavors that I couldn’t be bothered during the summer because it was too hot to eat. But now I indulge in it all as a distraction from this underlying anxiety of the upcoming election. All the racist anti-immigrant rhetoric, the threats of mass deportation, calls for violence, the misogynistic policies that can’t wait to take control of our bodies with their grubby hands and put us in our place.

Only three more weeks to go. The anxiety is palpable.

I don’t usually get political here—I save that for social media where it acts more like a collective vent in a public forum (it helps, sometimes). There are many excellent journalists and writers who do a fantastic job at analyzing and commenting on the state of American politics. But like many of you, the election is on my mind, so apologies for touching upon it here. It is too important to ignore, and rage is the emotion that hums along like a subcurrent that surfaces whenever I catch a headline or a soundbite, despite my attempts to quiet the noise.

“We have to live with these animals. But we won't live with them for long.”

I sit here in disbelief that we’re at this point again, exactly where we were eight years ago.

We’re not going back! I hear these cries like a war chant over and over.
But how did we end up there in the first place?

This is what America always was, a country founded on violence, declares the historians, the sociologists, the activists. Slavery, colonization, displacement of Indigenous peoples, racial oppression, conflicts and wars. And Trump’s allowed the hatred to surface, giving MAGA, racists, and white nationalists permission to act on that hate.

There’s a binary choice in this election. Moral decency and inclusivity vs. fear mongering and divisiveness. Yet this election will likely come down to single issue votes: the economy, immigration, abortion rights. Some voters are willing to look past the extremist rhetoric to double down on what they believe, through a romanticized view of the past—that we were better off economically four years ago. But this issue, the immigration issue, is what captures his base and holds them there. This is how he might win again.

Undocumented immigrants are “poisoning the blood of our country.”

I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that as a (legal, naturalized) immigrant and a person of color in this country, I recoil every time I hear the anti-immigrant rhetoric and plans of large-scale denaturalization. It’s been infiltrating to the rest of the Republican party and it’s becoming more loud and toxic.

I was always proud of the country that gave my family opportunities to achieve the American Dream. But remember, this was only allowed to happen because the Immigration Act of 1965 removed restrictions on Asian immigration. To renounce a country and give up citizenship is a life-altering choice. While I wasn't born here, America is the only home I knew coming as a toddler, so it was never a question of whether I would be naturalized or not. Nonetheless, in 7th grade I was presented with a choice and I made a deliberate decision to take the oath ceremony to become a U.S. citizen. I am an American.

But like most of my fellow Americans, no matter which side of politics you land, it’s hard not to worry that we are going in the wrong direction.¹ This country is as divided as it’s ever been in my lifetime, and we seem to have differing opinions on what the future of democracy means.

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This week’s drawing

The season of foraging and hoarding natural specimens for drawing has begun.

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Related reading

A love letter to New York

The trauma of immigration, and the story behind a name

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Links of interest this week

About those New York Times headlines (An American Crisis)
It’s really head scratching how the media has covered this election cycle. Margaret Sullivan, former public editor of the New York Times, breaks down two New York Times headlines—one on Harris, the other on Trump.
And related: Yes. Political Journalism Remains Wired for the GOP (Talking Points Memo)

Filmmaker Sue Kim on letting Jeju’s female divers shape their own story in ‘The Last of the Sea Women’ (Vogue Singapore)
I haven’t watched this documentary yet (no Apple TV), but I feel very fortunate to have seen the haenyeo last year on my trip to Jeju. There’s footage of me and my cousin eating freshly caught abalone and sea squirts somewhere on my neglected YouTube channel. Also, was that only last year?? Time, you are a funny thing.

A New Study Found Cancer-Causing Flame Retardants on Black Plastic Kitchen Utensils and Food Containers (Food & Wine)
In the latest installment of “everything causes cancer,” flame retardant-containing electronics are being recycled into plastic food containers and utensils. And yes, I did go to my kitchen and check all my things.

How Our Diet and Culinary Heritage Informs the Way We Speak Iheoma Nwachukwu on Food, Language and the Immigrant Experience (Literary Hub)

The Vanishing Designer (DOC)
I can’t find a date on when this essay was written, but as a designer, everything hits: the sameness of apps, the sameness of design, efficiency, standardization, optimization. I’ll also add to that: AI and automation. Author Chuánqi Sun writes:

“I truly believe this generation of designers has changed the world, in many positive ways.

But at what cost?”

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Nobody wants this

I feel like I need a new section called “nobody wants this” because there’s a lot of nonsense out there.

Way to suck the joy out of social media last week when it lighted up with everyone’s photos of the Auroras. That day is an example of social at its best—when we share a collective experience that has us all in awe. Apparently, Meta thinks we can now replace real life experiences with AI generated images. Again, who wants this? But worse, how dangerous is this when AI images are circulating and it’s getting harder to distinguish what is real and what is fake? But the rub is, of course, that all of this is being trained on our images, our work, our designs.

– til next time, JP

1. https://www.prri.org/research/threats-to-american-democracy-ahead-of-an-unprecedented-presidential-election/