I think it starts by refusing to use the automated checkout machines at the supermarket and having a chat about the weather with the person working at the checkout counter. I'm sick of hearing about the unexpected item in the bagging area.
Yep, it can start there IF it's still an option. It's disheartening to think about an inevitable future where we won't have a choice except to do self check outs because corporations have made that decision for us. I hope it doesn't happen, for the sake of jobs and human interaction.
Thanks (once again) for putting things that feel hard to pin down into words. I loved the story of the elevator. I think we throw around the word “community” often when we in fact aren't making the effort to connect but are consuming - consumers of the benefits of community without contributing. Your writing today illustrates why.
Courtney, that's a really good point. It's not particularly difficult to find community, as in some sort of common interest, identity, or shared value, but a bit more difficult to cultivate it towards something much more meaningful for the collective good.
A topic sitting like a time bomb in my heart, Jenna. I'm so glad you continue to tease this knot with us all. A couple thoughts:
Because I think most of us do in fact care about all this insanity, the question might be, 'how do we act like we care?' It's the doing really, right? Especially when we all feel often desperately helpless. To Mark's comment below, and your example of the elevator vibe check--these are real and effective ways (for lack of a better cliche) of being the change you want to see. Every action is a modeling of behavior, but IRL... the classic, and best, way of giving and getting our info on how to human.
Yes, it's the doing. I think that's where we are gridlocked as a society. Not enough of us doing (I'm also guilty of this). This is the only way we can model caring for younger generations otherwise all this cruelty is just going to get more normalized.
So timely, given all that happened yesterday... and will continue, until we manage our collective course correction. I meant to mention, my little neighborhood activist group has officially reclaimed the concepts of communitarianism, as a way to give more definitive shape to what they feel is most important right now--being with, learning from, supporting and modeling good for each other and others. They're gaining new members every week...
“I want to write about everything and I want to write about nothing and so I fall into inertia instead.”
100% how I feel.
It’s challenging not to scream out at everyone, “CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF?!?!?!”
I have been in multiple situations recently where the level of apathy toward others was maddening.
I think the solution is to keep searching out the situations and people who are actively giving a shit. Elevating their stories. Championing their work. It matters. It matters where we focus.
Also? You’re still writing and that’s not inertia. 💗
“So what is there to do other than the obvious, which is to invest and support our local communities?” 👍🏽🧚🏼⚡️ I have very few answers but have felt obsessed with this one in recent years…
I remember that post, Asha. It feels even like June was such a long time ago? Like so many bad things have happened since then?? But yes, modeling hope is a worthwhile goal even though it's haaaaaaard.
I feel all of this! I'm hoping to find small ways of resisting the hyper-individualism whether it's with my neighbors, strangers I see, friends and family. It's a muscle to build to think of myself and my family less and to look outward.
I want my son to grow up seeing it too - where he isn't the center of the universe and for him to be part of the world he lives in.
This post also reminds me of Proxy with Yowei Shaw's episode "How to Cope With Now"
We really need to model this to our children. As I wrote, I think this is definitely one of the damaging aspects of the pandemic that just got ingrained in teens in particular. All the polarizing and political views on masking and vaccines, the isolation. We have to turn things around...
The pandemic times had a definite impact - my daughter had a virtual 8th grade graduation and my son had the first in-person high school graduation once it was “ok to go outside again.” But I think my children (Gen Z too, whatever these vast generation categories mean to a categorization-resistant Gen X-er like myself), are much more inward turning because they grew up with an online life. This does not make them not give a shit, because their parents do give a shit and we talk about the news, and society, and all that. And they have learned to read between the lines, think critically, and assess for themselves. A kid’s relationship with their family is fundamental to how they will relate to people outside of that little natal microcosm of society (that’s why having and raising a child is a HUGE responsibility). Anyway…I enjoyed reading your article. I do have hope that as adults, we can encourage our children to relate to others in a way that is cognizant that as imperfect and flawed as we all are, we all bleed red blood, and none of us is so powerful that we can take anything we built or own on this earth with us past that last breath. We could all use some humility and compassion, for sure.
JE, sounds like our kids are the same age. We also had an 8th grade virtual graduation and then the first official high school graduation. I do think many kids care, it's just that they are overwhelmed with the onslaught of news and information (delivered to them through social media most likely) and it's really hard to process all the divisive rhetoric and hot takes and the inevitable fighting from such polarized sides. This is definitely a result of social media. Now with AI and deep fakes, it's just harder to discern what's real anymore. All that to say, this is the reality now and I'm not sure how it's supposed to get better. All we can do is try to model that better and more civil behavior to younger generations.
I think having grown up in the ‘70s post-Nixon era has made me very much a non-joiner, and suspicious of things in general. We talk about the crap of AI, along with all the crap on the internet. I don’t know that the majority of kids are like this, I suspect not if their parents are conformists. But then, that’s not news, even when I was growing up. As far as social media, it’s a cesspool, and the internet has followed. Why do these sites exist at all? What are we saying by allowing international and publicly posted access to virtual gathering areas which promote lies, hatred and violence? Oh yeah, what’s in the middle of that? People, including politicians, making money. Keeping the masses disorganized by letting them fight each other, so they can rob us all. This is what happens when people get complacent and don’t hold leaders accountable. Yeah. And the kids should be very aware.
I think it starts by refusing to use the automated checkout machines at the supermarket and having a chat about the weather with the person working at the checkout counter. I'm sick of hearing about the unexpected item in the bagging area.
Yep, it can start there IF it's still an option. It's disheartening to think about an inevitable future where we won't have a choice except to do self check outs because corporations have made that decision for us. I hope it doesn't happen, for the sake of jobs and human interaction.
That’s a depressing thought but a reasonable worry. I remember when there were bank tellers.
Thanks (once again) for putting things that feel hard to pin down into words. I loved the story of the elevator. I think we throw around the word “community” often when we in fact aren't making the effort to connect but are consuming - consumers of the benefits of community without contributing. Your writing today illustrates why.
Courtney, that's a really good point. It's not particularly difficult to find community, as in some sort of common interest, identity, or shared value, but a bit more difficult to cultivate it towards something much more meaningful for the collective good.
A topic sitting like a time bomb in my heart, Jenna. I'm so glad you continue to tease this knot with us all. A couple thoughts:
Because I think most of us do in fact care about all this insanity, the question might be, 'how do we act like we care?' It's the doing really, right? Especially when we all feel often desperately helpless. To Mark's comment below, and your example of the elevator vibe check--these are real and effective ways (for lack of a better cliche) of being the change you want to see. Every action is a modeling of behavior, but IRL... the classic, and best, way of giving and getting our info on how to human.
Yes, it's the doing. I think that's where we are gridlocked as a society. Not enough of us doing (I'm also guilty of this). This is the only way we can model caring for younger generations otherwise all this cruelty is just going to get more normalized.
So timely, given all that happened yesterday... and will continue, until we manage our collective course correction. I meant to mention, my little neighborhood activist group has officially reclaimed the concepts of communitarianism, as a way to give more definitive shape to what they feel is most important right now--being with, learning from, supporting and modeling good for each other and others. They're gaining new members every week...
I know. What a crazy day of news yesterday. And how wonderful to hear about your neighborhood group!
“I want to write about everything and I want to write about nothing and so I fall into inertia instead.”
100% how I feel.
It’s challenging not to scream out at everyone, “CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF?!?!?!”
I have been in multiple situations recently where the level of apathy toward others was maddening.
I think the solution is to keep searching out the situations and people who are actively giving a shit. Elevating their stories. Championing their work. It matters. It matters where we focus.
Also? You’re still writing and that’s not inertia. 💗
I feel like I scream “CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF?!?!?!” internally every single day in this news cycle!
And yes, still writing, but man...the process can be painful.
“So what is there to do other than the obvious, which is to invest and support our local communities?” 👍🏽🧚🏼⚡️ I have very few answers but have felt obsessed with this one in recent years…
I think many of us are sort of paralyzed about what to do. You are not alone in this!
You and I are very much on the same page. I appreciate that you bring up so many wise observations with no easy answers. Sharing something I wrote a while back. I think I was trying to get at a similar thought. https://open.substack.com/pub/ashadornfest/p/building-bridges-from-me-to-us?r=2jgs4&utm_medium=ios
I remember that post, Asha. It feels even like June was such a long time ago? Like so many bad things have happened since then?? But yes, modeling hope is a worthwhile goal even though it's haaaaaaard.
I feel all of this! I'm hoping to find small ways of resisting the hyper-individualism whether it's with my neighbors, strangers I see, friends and family. It's a muscle to build to think of myself and my family less and to look outward.
I want my son to grow up seeing it too - where he isn't the center of the universe and for him to be part of the world he lives in.
This post also reminds me of Proxy with Yowei Shaw's episode "How to Cope With Now"
We really need to model this to our children. As I wrote, I think this is definitely one of the damaging aspects of the pandemic that just got ingrained in teens in particular. All the polarizing and political views on masking and vaccines, the isolation. We have to turn things around...
The pandemic times had a definite impact - my daughter had a virtual 8th grade graduation and my son had the first in-person high school graduation once it was “ok to go outside again.” But I think my children (Gen Z too, whatever these vast generation categories mean to a categorization-resistant Gen X-er like myself), are much more inward turning because they grew up with an online life. This does not make them not give a shit, because their parents do give a shit and we talk about the news, and society, and all that. And they have learned to read between the lines, think critically, and assess for themselves. A kid’s relationship with their family is fundamental to how they will relate to people outside of that little natal microcosm of society (that’s why having and raising a child is a HUGE responsibility). Anyway…I enjoyed reading your article. I do have hope that as adults, we can encourage our children to relate to others in a way that is cognizant that as imperfect and flawed as we all are, we all bleed red blood, and none of us is so powerful that we can take anything we built or own on this earth with us past that last breath. We could all use some humility and compassion, for sure.
JE, sounds like our kids are the same age. We also had an 8th grade virtual graduation and then the first official high school graduation. I do think many kids care, it's just that they are overwhelmed with the onslaught of news and information (delivered to them through social media most likely) and it's really hard to process all the divisive rhetoric and hot takes and the inevitable fighting from such polarized sides. This is definitely a result of social media. Now with AI and deep fakes, it's just harder to discern what's real anymore. All that to say, this is the reality now and I'm not sure how it's supposed to get better. All we can do is try to model that better and more civil behavior to younger generations.
I think having grown up in the ‘70s post-Nixon era has made me very much a non-joiner, and suspicious of things in general. We talk about the crap of AI, along with all the crap on the internet. I don’t know that the majority of kids are like this, I suspect not if their parents are conformists. But then, that’s not news, even when I was growing up. As far as social media, it’s a cesspool, and the internet has followed. Why do these sites exist at all? What are we saying by allowing international and publicly posted access to virtual gathering areas which promote lies, hatred and violence? Oh yeah, what’s in the middle of that? People, including politicians, making money. Keeping the masses disorganized by letting them fight each other, so they can rob us all. This is what happens when people get complacent and don’t hold leaders accountable. Yeah. And the kids should be very aware.
Reading this was time well spent this afternoon. Thank you!
I appreciate the read, Joe 🫶